And that she had avoided. Must avoid. He would not be interested anyway, so what did it matter?
That he was asking questions at all was...was what? Curious? Surprising? Unexpected? Perhaps predictable. The revelation last night of how her marriage to Damian had not been what he’d assumed invited questions.
Not that her answers to any of them mattered—any more than why she and Damian had never tried to have a child.
None of it matters, because no answer I give can ever justify what I did to Leandros.
That was all there was to it—all the truth that it was necessary for her to face.
And the truth she had discovered last evening.
Her eyes went to him now, softening as they did so, and emotion flowed within her, strong and irrefutable. That was all that mattered to her now as she sat here with him, in this time she had.
It would not last. How could it? He had brought her here to free himself of her, purge himself of her, to take from her all that was left of what he’d once wanted.
And I will give it to him—freely and willingly. Even if it is all he wants of me, it is his...
Last night—and the debacle that had ended it—had merely been a...a delay...that was all. Now, tonight, she would be different—fulfilled.
All that he wants—and all that I want to give.
She felt that precious emotion flow again within her, warming her and comforting her. She would pay a price for it—as she had six years ago—but for now, this now, it would be her joy and her gift to him. And now she knew, with that certainty that had filled her since the discovery of the truth about why she had come to Paris with Leandros, that it was a gift to herself too.
‘Shall we eat in tonight?’
Leandros’s enquiry was tentative as they made their way back into their hotel. She might prefer to go out—see and be seen. If so, he would oblige. He was being...considerate. That was the word that came to him. Going easy on her, as he had all day, because—
Well, because. That was all. Still taking the day as it came.
And it’s been good today.
The river cruise, the gentle ambling around Monet’s gardens, a leisurely lunch, some more ambling around the village of Giverny itself, then back to the river to glide serenely back upstream to Paris, looking out over the riverbanks that another painter, Seurat, had made equally as famous as Monet’s waterlilies, with his river-bathing youths and his bourgeois promenaders along La Grande Jatte, immortalised in his trademark pointilliste style.
They had discussed it amiably, agreeing to differ—Eliana preferring the beauty of Monet, he the technical brilliance of Seurat.
We used to agree to differ all the time...
Even with her sheltered upbringing—or was it because of it, perhaps?—Eliana had been happy to disagree with him. It had been a novelty for him—the females he’d favoured had tended to agree with him. Too eagerly.
I called Eliana naive, overprotected by her doting father. But was I, in turn, spoilt by my looks and my wealth? Did I take it for granted that I could always have what I wanted? Feel entitled to it?
It was a disquieting thought. If it were true, then had it only exacerbated the blow of Eliana’s rejection of him? And besides...
I knew my father was only testing her, warning her he would disinherit me if I married her. I knew he only wanted her to prove her love for me—get her to marry me even with the threat of disinheritance and then relent. He would never have gone through with it. Would even have bailed out her father.
But Eliana had not known that. Had only known that if she went through with marrying him there would be no money—no money to keep her in the lifestyle she was used to, which she could not face losing when her father ran out of money.
So she had chosen Damian instead—and lived to see her father die, and all that he possessed pass to her father-in-law. Lived to face the very poverty she had married to avoid.
Come full circle.
Karma? Was that the word for it?
What we flee from we must eventually face?
The door to the elevator was slicing open, cutting off his thoughts. He was glad. He wanted to go back to his mandate for the day—to take things as they came.
And that included Eliana’s preference for dinner.