Page 73 of Cross the Line

Someone honks but Alec doesn’t move. He can’t move. How can you move when you realize the kind of love you have for someone is steady as the roots of a tree. You can cut the top of the tree off, but those roots will always be there. There will be no getting over Theo. Not now, not ever.

Perhaps Alec should want to sob or scream, but all he feels is a floaty kind of peace. Well, that and a lot of nausea and dizziness, but the peace is nice. He’s tired of fighting, tired of hiding. He loves Theo and it’s alright if Theo never loves him back. He’ll take all the friendship and scraps of love and cans of Coke Theo will give him, and it will be enough because Theo is enough. Theo has always been enough.

“You’re stopping traffic.”

“I am amazing.” Alec smiles. “Look at the moon, Theo. It’s beautiful.”

“Oh my god, you’re so drunk.” Theo snorts seconds before his arms are slipping beneath Alec’s back and under his legs, lifting him from the ground like he weighs nothing.

“If you wanted to hold me, you just had to ask,” Alec laughs, following that up with a groan when Theo starts to walk and Alec's stomach churns. “I don’t feel so good.”

“What were you even drinking?” Theo asks, hitching Alec up against his chest in a bridal carry. Alec might be smaller than him, but he’s got a lot of muscle and weighs more than he looks, and yet Theo holds him with ease. A pitiful sound falls from Alec’s lips as he buries his face in Theo’s neck and breathes in the achingly familiar scent of his cologne.

“It’s gonna be okay, Alec.”

Alec doesn’t reply. There’s nothing to say. He’s drunk off his ass and in love with the man holding him. Nothing about this situation is remotely okay.

“Think you can stand if I put you down?” Theo asks.

“No, thank you,” Alec mumbles against Theo’s neck.

The reverberations of Theo’s soft laughter jostles Alec, making him hold on all the tighter. “It’s my fault for making it a question.” He attempts to lower Alec’s legs, but Alec tries to curl himself around Theo, not wanting to be put down. “Alec.”

Alec ignores his words while shoving his nose into Theo’s neck. He’s not gonna get another chance to be this close and he’s going to take full advantage of their proximity. Theo’s body is strong and warm, his scent intoxicating, and if Alec didn’t feel close to puking or passing out, it would be perfect.

“I have to put you down so I can drive.”

In response Alec tightens his arms around Theo’s neck, refusing to return to reality.

“Alexander.”

Alec sucks in a sharp breath, head spinning as he loosens his koala death grip on Theo. Carefully, he’s lowered to the ground, his feet unsteady and his head spinning as he opens his eyes to find pretty blue ones staring back at him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Theo whispers, pushing a loose curl behind Alec’s ear. “Alec?—”

Bile rises in Alec’s throat and suddenly, a gut wrenching sound comes from his own mouth as he shoves Theo away just in time to prevent spewing his guts on him. He falls to his knees, losing everything in his stomach. The muscles spasm, his throat closing as he gags, tears prickling at his eyes. Alec hates puking and he hates crying and he never, ever wants to drink again.

“You’re crying,” Theo whispers.

“I’m not,” Alec insists, even as the tears fall. “I’m never drinking again.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so,” Alec insists, rising to stand but falling into the side of the car. “Fucking door hit me.”

“Let me help,” Theo offers. If it were anyone else Alec might push them away, but since it’s Theo, he lets himself be guided into the car. Wasting no time in kicking off his shoes and leaning his seat all the way back, he stretches his legs out on the dash and closes his eyes, finally comfortable. At least until the engine roars to life and the car moves, and then Alec’s holding on to the door for dear life.

“Why are you driving so crazy?”

“I’m just pulling out.”

“Nuh-uh,” Alec says, slamming his mouth shut and shaking his head. He’s pretty sure the odds of him being sick again are high.

“Alec.”

“I need something to chew on.”

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