Page 69 of Cross the Line

“Then you dance with me,” Alec challenges. There’s a fire blazing in his eyes, the rise and fall of his chest rapid. For all the delicateness in his features, it’s easy to forget how strong Alec is. Strong in ways that have nothing to do with muscles. Strong in ways Theo only dreams of.

Alec isn’t afraid of Theo, isn’t afraid of anything, but maybe he should be.

“Alec,” he whispers. It’s not a yes or no, but it’s the only answer he can give and it’s the wrong one.

“Fuck you,” Alec grits out, yanking his arm from Theo’s grasp. “So what, you won’t dance with me, but no one else should either?”

Theo doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing he can say. He’s too much of a coward to let Alec know how much he wants him and just enough of an asshole to ensure no one else can have him.

Casual hookups and one-offs in a club are fine for people like Theo, but not for Alec. Something like that would ruin him. Theo might not know Alec like he used to, but he knows how much he wants romance and love and all the things his parents have. Despite his loud bravado, Alec has a gentle heart and it deserves protecting. Even from Theo. Especially from Theo.

The silence stretches on too long and Theo’s inability to reply only makes Alec more upset.

“I can’t believe you,” Alec groans. “I’m going to get a drink.”

“I’m coming.”

“Now you talk,” Alec snaps. He pulls the coin that dangles from his necklace between thumb and forefinger, tapping at it rapidly, agitation oozing from every pore. “Don’t follow me, Theodore. Don’t you dare.”

With that he stalks off, leaving Theo alone for the third time that night.

CHAPTER 13

Alec

Lights flicker in his peripheral vision as he all but runs to the bar, slamming himself against the wooden edge as he struggles to catch his breath. He’s such an idiot. Part of Alec wants to cry and the rest of him wants the ground to swallow him whole or get drunk enough that he won’t remember tonight.

Turns out, not even when Theo wants to protect Alec is he desperate enough to dance with him. He’d danced at Alec’s party, but that was different. Alec knows how he looks tonight, how he’s been dancing, and Theo doesn’t want any part of that. Which should be fine. It’s not Theo’s fault he’s not interested in Alec, not his fault that while Alec tries to forget him on the dance floor, the touch of every other man repulses Alec because they’re not Theo.

None of those men are the man with the blue eyes and quiet smile that Alec has been in love with since he was fifteen, and it hurts so goddamn much he can barely breathe. He thought he could do this, thought he could just be friends, but every single day it hurts more. Sometimes Alec isn’t sure if there’s a point to even having a heart when it hurts this much.

He turns around, half hoping Theo ignored his petulant warning and followed anyway, but he didn’t, and the relief at his boundaries being respected is diminished by the cold ache of loss. For the briefest of moments, Alec had thought maybe Theo didn’t like those other men touching him because he wanted to dance with Alec, but those were foolish thoughts from a foolish boy who let a few drinks get to his head.

Theo doesn’t like Alec, not like that, and he never will. Jason probably told him to watch out for him. He probably came over out of some stupid misplaced sense of obligation, which makes Alec want to puke.

“You look like you need this,” someone says, sliding a drink in front of Alec.

Alec stares at the mystery drink before turning his gaze on the guy who passed it to him.

“I’d prefer not to be drugged, thanks.” Alec slides it back across the bar.

The man laughs as if what Alec said is funny. It’s not funny. Not a little bit. Alec is tempted to flip him off, but he then has the bartender give Alec a fresh drink, definitely not tampered with, and Alec accepts it because he might be pissed off, but he’s not going to turn down a free drink.

“Wanna dance, sweetheart?”

The guy can’t be much older than Alec, and with his ridiculous aviators tucked into the front of his t-shirt like it’s fucking sunny or something in here, he looks like an idiot. He’s got dark hair and a pretty face and he’s got maybe two inches on Alec. Nothing about him makes Alec’s heart race. Not his pompous laugh or his baby-faced looks.

“Alright,” Alec answers, because despite all the reasons he doesn’t want to dance with the guy, the one person he does want to dance with said no, and Alec is so tired of not being wanted. Just for one night he wants to let himself see what it’s like to be the object of someone else’s attention—to be desired. And there is no mistaking the desire in this guy's eyes as he drags his gaze up and down Alec’s body.

This isn’t what Alec wants. It isn’t who he wants, but maybe if he gets drunk enough that won’t matter. Besides, he isn't going to have sex with any of the guys here, regardless of what Theo thinks. He just wants to dance, have fun, and pretend that he’s someone else’s fantasy.

“You coming, pretty boy?”

“Coming,” Alec replies, grabbing his drink before moving closer to the guy. “Show me your moves.”

Together they make their way to the dance floor. The guy is an objectively terrible dancer, but he plies Alec with drinks and compliments. It’s not so bad, really. The music thunders in his ears as he closes his eyes and gets lost in the sound. He loses track of how long they’re out there, the songs keep changing, the drinks keep coming, and Alec lets himself forget the blue eyes that he knows aren’t watching him.

More than once, the guy whose name Alec never bothered to ask lets his hands wander, but Alec always shifts them higher. Inevitably, they move lower again, and after the fifth time, Alec gets annoyed. He tries to step away, but he’s prevented by someone holding onto the loops of his jeans.

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