Page 26 of Cross the Line

There are plenty of pictures of Antonio and Alec with a pretty girl too, enough that even if Alec hadn’t assured Theo there was nothing between them, he’d see that now. He ignores the ones of Antonio with his fiance in favor of seeking out the ones with only Alec in them. There’s a particularly striking photo of Alec horseback riding through the fields during their trip to Mexico, a large brimmed hat obscuring his curls and his smile wide and free. There’s another one of him flipping off Antonio while eating a mango, the juice running down his delicate fingers, that leaves Theo uncomfortably aware of his own body.

Every time he thinks he can’t get luckier there are more, Antonio’s account overflowing with photos from their trip. There’s one of him playing soccer with a bunch of kids, one where Alec’s cheeks are hollowed from sucking on his straw while he drinks something that looks like horchata, and even one of Alec shirtless jumping into a muddy river.

Photo after photo showcases Alec laughing and having fun, looking more relaxed than Theo has ever seen him. Where Alec’s personal social media is more cultivated to soccer and food with an occasional thirst trap, the photos from his best friend show off a whole new side to Alec, one that’s a lot more up close and personal than Theo was expecting.

Each photo leads to another, and soon Theo is tapping on random names and links. The sheer number of people who tag Alec on Twitter and Instagram is, quite frankly, terrifying for someone like Theo, who would rather die than ever be perceived by so many strangers. While some of them seem like friends or acquaintances, there are a slightly worrying amount of photos, tweets, and accounts mentioning Alec that indicate they don’t know him but wish they did.

Some seem to be fans who follow college soccer and are more interested in Alec’s player stats than his freckles and abs, but there’s plenty of engagement from people thirsting over him with candid photos taken of him all over campus last year. There’s even one of Alec sleepy and frowning at a camera, making it clear someone was taking a photo of him in the library without permission. There are accounts of betting on his odds of being scouted to the MLS, and one slightly unhinged faceless account on Twitter that rates the boys of Santa Leon University, which lists Alec as one of the sexiest guys on campus. Scrolling further, he finds Riley’s now familiar face plastered along with Alec’s and finds himself frowning.

Seeing the way strangers talk about Alec like he’s a commodity, rating everything from his soccer skills to his body, makes Theo’s stomach churn. No matter how much he tries to tell himself that he feels some kind of pseudo-older-brother protectiveness about randos perving on Alec, the truth is so much more complicated.

For the second night in a row, Theo finds himself up until one a.m. with thoughts of freckled skin and a cocky smile filling his mind.

It’s been a long time since Theo wanted anything. He’s spent a lifetime trying to tamper down his expectations, to be realistic and responsible and make choices that will ensure he doesn’t jeopardize anything he isn’t willing to lose. Yet with every thought of Alec, the longing grows and he knows that he can’t deny the truth; he wants to know the missing parts of Alec, to fill in the blank spaces and the missing pieces and find out exactly who Alexander King is now.

A normal person would text Alec and ask to hang out again, but Theo isn’t normal and he’s never been good at that. The only reason he and Jason became best friends is because Jason asked and Theo said yes; the rest was history. Theo doesn’t even have any close friends besides Jason, though whether that’s because he’s incapable of casual social interactions or deeply introverted is debatable. Theo tries not to think too hard about it. He’s got a stable job, a group of friendly work acquaintances that are at least friend-adjacent, and he’s got Jason. Every couple months when he gets tired of his own hand, he has a casual hookup, and that’s all he needs.

Except if that is actually true, then why can’t he stop thinking about Alec’s smile?

More than once, he opens his contacts and stares at Alec’s name. He’s got his phone number. After helping Alec move a few days ago, something had changed. Spending time with Alec alone and with his friends had shown Theo a new side to Alec, one he isn’t used to seeing around Jason. His brothers treat him like the baby of the family and it shows. With his friends he’s more relaxed, and while his outlandish flirting and joking behavior was there, there’d also been moments of quiet conversation that Theo hadn’t known he was capable of.

Before he’d left the apartment, Alec told Theo he had a good day. The implication that he would be up for hanging out again was there, yet something holds him back. If Alec had wanted to hang out again, why didn’t he explicitly say so? Alec is always vocal about what he wants. He never holds anything back and can’t keep a secret to save his life. Maybe he isn’t interested in more than a semi-familial friendship with Theo. Maybe he doesn’t want to hang out again.

That small possibility holds Theo back from texting Alec first. Even though Theo is fairly certain his offer to hang out wouldn’t be straight out declined, he isn’t sure where he stands. He also has no idea how one goes about asking someone to hang out if it’s not a work meeting or a dating app hookup. Those both have expectations and parameters. This thing with Alec does not. Hell, all the plans he makes with Jason are made because Jason asks first, because he knows Theo won’t. The sad truth is that Theo is shit at instigating anything when there is a potential for rejection, however minuscule.

There’s also the little thing about Alec being Jason’s little brother, which is maybe not such a little thing after all. Realistically, Jason would probably be thrilled if he thought Theo wanted to include Alec in some of their hangouts. And while Theo wouldn’t mind that, what he really wants is something infinitely more complicated: he wants to hang out with Alec alone. Which begs the question, how in the hell is he supposed to hang out with Alec without any of his brothers around?

He can’t even imagine how that exchange would go over. ‘Hey Jason, I’ve been noticing your baby brother grew up into one of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen. I had a wet dream about his freckled back, and by the way, would you be cool if we hung out without you?’ Theo rubs his temples. Jason would be pissed off or get his feelings hurt, and either option makes Theo sick to his stomach. He can’t hurt his best friend.

Besides, he knows Alec is over Theo. His little crush was years ago and Alec’s a grown man now. It’s just now that they’re both adults and on equal playing fields, things are different. Too bad Theo’s an idiot who took years too long to realize how sexy and fun Alec is.

With a frustrated sigh, Theo tosses his phone onto the far end of his couch out of reach. What Theo needs to do is get Alec out of his head. Thinking about his blinding smile, warm freckles and the impressive breadth of his muscular soccer thighs, is quite possibly the riskiest thing he’s ever done. Even daydreaming about messing around with him feels dangerous; actually doing it would be the biggest mistake of his life. Either Jason would end up hating him or Theo would hate himself. Or both. Both is definitely the most likely option.

Of course there’s also the part where Alec is long over his teenage crush on Theo and now has feelings for someone else. Something about a party boy is what Charlie said. Probably someone his own age who is extroverted and social and funny like Alec. Someone who is probably a dick, since he doesn’t like Alec back.

That train of thought makes him think about the day Alec had confessed his feelings, laying his entire heart on the line before Theo had practically run away. He hadn’t let himself be in the same room as Alec alone for months, and while it had been the right choice at the time because he was way, way too old for Alec back then and didn’t have feelings for him, he probably hurt him. Of course Alec had been nothing but smiles in no time, so getting over his little crush on Theo clearly hadn’t been too hard, but he still hates the idea he might’ve hurt him even a little bit. This other guy Alec likes now could hurt him, judging by the conversation he overheard between Charlie and Alec in the kitchen.

Thinking about Alec with another guy makes Theo’s chest tighten uncomfortably. He might not be close to Alec anymore, but he watched him grow up. He knows he’s something special and the idea of someone hurting him makes Theo more upset than it probably should. Blowing out a heavy breath, he chalks his state of mind up to protectiveness. He is Jason’s brother, after all, so of course Theo doesn’t want to see him hurting.

The more he thinks about it, the more certain he feels that all these messy confusing feelings are probably just being dredged up because of the party. The reminder that Alec grew up while Theo was busy avoiding him and becoming a man of his own is bittersweet. He missed out on so much, but that doesn’t give him permission to feel possessive about who he dates or thinks about him naked. No matter the reason for his current predicament, it’s Theo’s alone to deal with, and he’s dealt with far worse than a burgeoning crush on someone he can’t have. While it’s nice to imagine they might have more fun together whenever he does see him, thinking about anything else outside of those parameters is not only ridiculous, but wildly irresponsible.

Theo needs to forget the party, forget Alec and his ridiculous little frog timer, his perfectly organized kitchen and delicious breakfast burritos. He needs to forget how it felt to have Alec’s full attention directed his way and get back to his normal life.

Normal. Familiar. That’s exactly what Theo needs. Grabbing the remote, he flips through the streaming channels until he finds a new documentary about whales he hasn’t seen. As the monotone narrator’s voice fills his living room he slowly relaxes. This is fine. His life is stable and comfortable, and that’s all he could possibly need.

“I need you.”

“Who is this?” Theo asks, scrubbing a hand over his face. It’s pitch dark in his bedroom and his glasses mysteriously are absent from his bedside table. He’d squinted at his phone to try and see who it was, but between his sleep-addled brain and poor vision he couldn’t tell and answered the call anyway, assuming it was Jason.

It’s definitely not.

“Who is this?” the other person repeats in a high-pitched tone. “I am so offended that you don’t have me in your contact list that I’m tempted to hang up on you.”

“Alec?”

“Of course it's me, Theodore.”

Theo squints at his phone to make sure it’s not a dream. He has to bring it very close to his face to see what time it is and confirm that the call is indeed coming from Alec’s number.

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