Page 20 of Cross the Line

“I never knew that,” Andrew says.

Charlie shrugs. “We were all away at college or working. I think Alec spent a lot of time with her while we were gone. He was lonely.”

“Alec was lonely?” Jason frowns like he’s been physically wounded. “I would’ve come home more and visited him. Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Because Alec doesn’t tell anyone anything if he thinks it’s going to inconvenience them,” Charlie says, the sharp edge back in his tone. “Alec deserves everything.”

“‘Course he does,” Theo agrees.

“He shouldn’t ever be hurt by anyone.” Charlie stabs his pancakes so hard that syrup squirts onto the kitchen island.

Jason frowns. “What did the pancakes ever do to you?”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” Charlie sighs, sliding the plate of pancakes in front of Jason. “I’m gonna go look for Alec.”

“But you don’t run,” Jason points out, already filling his mouth with food.

“I have a car.”

“Oh, duh.”

“I’ll come,” Andrew says, as always seemingly content to follow Charlie.

“Was that weird or is it just me?” Theo asks once the twins have left.

“Charlie and Andrew are always weird. I think it’s a twin thing.” Jason takes another large bite of pancakes, chewing thoughtfully. “Alec was weirder than usual, but he’s probably just tense since he has to move back into the dorms next week for preseason training. He always gets tetchy before a new season.”

“He goes back in July? I thought classes usually started in August.”

“All the D1 athletes have to move in early. Alec’s already got his diet and training schedule up on the fridge.”

Theo turns around, whistling when he takes in the color-coded and highlighted schedule listing Alec’s every workout, meal, and rest period for the next two weeks. It’s far more intense than Theo would’ve ever imagined. Not that he’s ever given that much thought to college athletes, but if asked he would’ve assumed they worked out and that was it. He obviously knew Alec trained hard and was talented, of course he did, but he’d failed to ever think about what that might look like behind the scenes.

“I didn’t realize,” Theo says, thinking back to Alec’s words the night before about his last night of freedom while eating tacos. He’d thought Alec was being dramatic as always, but as he takes in the schedule on the fridge listing every single meal Alec is supposed to eat with weighed and measured amounts to ensure he hits his protein and calorie goals, it suddenly seems less funny.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t wanna play football in college,” Jason says around a mouthful of pancakes. “Way too much work and not enough fun.”

“You weren’t scouted for college football.”

“Fuck you,” Jason laughs. “And then you were and you didn’t play.”

It’d been a bit of a sore subject for a few weeks. They’d gotten really drunk, talked about too many feelings, then woke up the next morning without mentioning it. Every couple of years Jason likes to remind Theo of his failed chance to become a famous football player and in turn, Theo points out he never had the chance to begin with. It’s just how they roll.

“It is what it is, no changing the past.” Theo shrugs.

While he’d played football in junior high and high school, the truth was that it was only because Jason did, and whatever his best friend did, Theo followed. It didn’t hurt that his dad liked football and Theo had secretly held out hope of trying to get his dad’s approval or attention. It backfired when his dad needed to take on a second job to pay for equipment, team fees, away games, and snack rotation.

More than once Theo had tried to quit for the money alone, but his dad had refused to let him, insisting it would take him far in life. All playing football did was awaken his bisexuality, when he realized there was more than one kind of ball he was interested in. Which isn’t to say Theo hated playing by any means. He’d enjoyed the team dynamics and camaraderie, but had never had the kind of love for the game that it felt like he should’ve.

Instead Theo spent his high school glory days longing to join some of the other after school clubs like art or photography, but that was something he’d never wanted to tell anyone, not even Jason, and certainly not his dad. It wasn’t that his dad had a problem with Theo being bisexual or less sports-obsessed than him, it was that his dad worked himself to the bone every day working minimum-wage jobs. And Theo wasn’t stupid enough to think his hobbies would get him a future.

Years playing football with Jason meant Theo had a decent amount of skills along with the body type for the game, but he didn’t have the passion or drive that was required to continue sports past high school. He certainly never had the drive that Alec clearly has for soccer. He also hadn’t been nearly as talented as Alec and while being scouted for a D3 school might have been exciting for someone who lived and breathed football, it meant very little for someone like Theo, who needed a full scholarship to even be able to contemplate attending college. His dad hadn’t gone to college. Hell, his grandparents hadn’t even graduated high school, and the odds were stacked so high against Theo they might as well have been a fortress.

All being scouted had done was remind Theo that without a scholarship, he couldn’t get a degree and without a degree he’d be stuck living paycheck to paycheck like his dad. So he’d declined the offers and gone to the same college as Jason, both because the academic scholarship they gave him were enough to cover everything besides housing. And because where Jason went, so did he.

“You’re doing that lost in your brain thing again. Have some pancakes.”

Theo doesn’t really want pancakes, but he also doesn’t want to be stuck in his brain. Jason’s solution to everything was food, probably because as kids Theo had never had enough and it usually had fixed things. He’s got enough now, but he never turns it down, not from Jason. He might not be great with feelings, but it’s how he shows he cares.

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