Page 111 of Cross the Line

Every word cuts deeper than the last, because they’re all true. If Theo hadn’t fucked Alec, they wouldn’t be here. If he hadn’t been a coward and shut down, letting Alec walk away, none of them would be here. Alec would be safe, not fighting for his life in a hospital bed.

“Charlie, stop this right now before you say something you’re going to regret,” Jason demands.

“Regret? Why are you taking his side?” Charlie turns his glare on Jason. “Fuck you too, then. Did you know? Did you know he was messing around with Alec? That he was just using him?”

“I wasn’t using him,” Theo croaks. He can handle the blame and the rage, but not that.

“Yeah, right,” Charlie scoffs. “What, did you find out he was still in love with you and think it’d be fun to take what you wanted and leave? I’ve known you your entire life, Theo. I know you. You might be a decent guy, but you don’t date anyone. You don’t do relationships or commitment, but he does. Or at least he wants to. All Alec has ever wanted was the kind of relationship our parents have. He’s a goddamn romantic who wants flowers and love and promises of forever. You know that, and yet you still took advantage of him.”

“I didn’t,” Theo tries, his protest half-hearted at best. He doesn’t want to believe that, but maybe what Charlie says isn't that far off from the truth. Isn’t that what he did? He convinced himself that he was helping Alec, because it gave him a chance to be with him with no strings attached.

“Charlie, stop it.” Andrew moves in front of him, blocking Jason and Theo from view. He leans his head in close, his forehead nearly touching Charlie’s as he whispers something too quiet for them to hear. Then he’s wrapping his arms around Charlie, who curls into Andrew like a child and starts to sob, his hands clenching in the back of Andrew’s shirt.

Jason grabs Theo’s arm and all but drags him toward a set of chairs against the far wall, to give Andrew and Charlie some space. He knows this isn’t over, but he’s going to take the out Andrew has afforded him.

“Are you still pissed at me?” Theo asks Jason once they’re far enough away. With a heavy exhale, he drops down into one of the hard hospital chairs next to Jason.

“Fuck yes, I am,” Jason sighs, looking far too big for the chair. “I’m so fucking mad at you, Theo, but I’m not going to walk away. Did you think I would?”

Theo stares at his hands, embarrassed that it's exactly what he thought.

“You’re an idiot,” Jason grumbles. “I’m not going to ever pick between you or my brothers. You’re both my family, and you’re not ever going to get rid of me. I can be really pissed off at you and still love you.”

All the air leaves Theo’s lungs in a rush. “Why?”

“Who knows. You sure as shit don’t make it easy to love you, Theo. But you’re worth it. I know it and…and it sounds like Alec knows it, too.”

Theo hiccups out a sob, shoving his hands over his mouth to try and silence the wounded animal noises he’s making. This is too much.

“Shit, you really like him, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Theo whispers, unable to fight the tears back. “I’m sorry.”

“God dammit, I can’t be mad at you when you cry.” Jason throws an arm around Theo’s shoulder, pulling him into an awkward but much needed side hug. “I can’t believe you, Mr.-I-will-be-single-until-I-die, caught feelings for my annoying baby brother.”

“Me either,” Theo admits.

“Aren’t you supposed to tell me he’s not annoying or some rose-colored glasses bullshit?”

“No.” Theo sits up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “He is annoying and I like it. I don’t know if that’s weird, but he’s just always himself and I love that about him. I like that he's a mouthy pain in the ass, demanding and never lets me get away with anything. He’s such a little shit and I think I might love it. He makes me laugh and smile and…oh god, I really like him. So much, Jason. What am I going to do?”

“Pretty sure the next step is apologizing and learning how to communicate.”

“That sounds fucking hard. I hurt him, Jason. So bad. I might hurt him again. Fuck, he might not even forgive me.”

“It’s Alec. Of course he’s going to forgive you, that stupid kid has a heart of gold. He forgives everyone who hurts him.”

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Then don’t,” Jason says, like it’s that easy.

“I can’t believe you’re encouraging me to …what? Try and date your brother?”

“I’m encouraging you to be happy. If that involves Alec, then I’ll support you, even if it's gonna take a lot of getting used to and be weird as hell.” Jason rubs his hands over his face groaning. “So fucking weird.”

“That’s incredibly mature.”

“Don’t act so surprised, asshole. Just because I spend all day with teenagers doesn’t mean I am one.” Jason cracks a smile and Theo has a glimmer of a future where maybe this is okay, where maybe things with him and Alec work out and he doesn’t lose Jason. He still feels like he’s walking on the edge of a cliff, but knowing that no matter what happens, Jason has his back makes it feel like there’s something to catch him if he falls. “For the record, I’m still pretty pissed off at you for lying and for hurting Alec, though.”

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