Page 93 of Love In The Spotlight

“Which is wrong of her. But look at it this way. Kids are raised to leave the nest, but the spouses stay. She has to live with him and only puts on a good front for a short period of time with you.”

“Not making me feeling any better,” he said.

“I suck at this,” she said. “I’m trying though. They don’t understand you and they never will. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth trying anymore.”

“No,” he said. “Do you know the sad part? When I told them about Penelope they were upset. They were pissed I didn’t tell them for months. I get it. I do. I even apologized a few times.”

“I can understand their hurt,” she said. “Even with everything between you guys it still could be hurtful. But I also see your side of it. You were dealing with a lot of changes in your life and probably felt alone.”

“That’s the word,” he said. “Deanna was the only one with me when I was drafted. My parents not only couldn’t be bothered to come but they weren’t even on the screen when cameras went back to my hometown to show the excitement. It was at a local bar and not one family member was there.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said, reaching her hand over to his. “Were they supportive when you got your scholarship?”

“Yes,” he said. “They were there for that. It was local and they were in pictures with me. They’ve made me doubt everything. I went away to college and acted like most kids do when they have some freedom. Yes, I drank and got drunk. But I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t flunk out. I got my communications degree and had decent grades.”

“But they knew some of what you were doing in college?” she asked. “How was that possible? I didn’t see anything when I dug around.”

“I was honest. I told them when they asked things. Maybe I was pissed because they never attempted to come see me play. A few times they made it. In four years, they came to two games. Once my freshman year when I started and once my senior year.”

“How far away from home were you?”

“Three hours,” he said. “Not horrible to support your kid. I’m sorry. There were kids on the team whose parents were driving eight hours and staying the weekend. There was no excuse for it. My father insisted he had to be back for mass.”

“I can understand that somewhat,” she said. “But didn’t he have anyone to cover for him? Doesn’t he take any days off? What if he’s sick?”

“Exactly. He can take a few days off. I didn’t want him to come to every game. He didn’t need to. But he could have tried for the homecoming ones at the very least. Do you know how hard it was to get so much attention and yet my parents were nowhere to be found? I’d be asked all the time by the press. I had to make shit up.”

“What did you say?”

“Usually the same. That my father couldn’t get away. He was devoted to the members of his church. The world saw who held more importance in his life.”

She couldn’t imagine her mother ever doing that.

Even with all the kids in her family, her mother would have found a way to be there in every corner for any of her kids’ lives.

“I just have no words,” she said.

She couldn’t keep saying she was sorry.

“You don’t need to say a word. My father worries about judgment and he got it. He can’t even see it. The worst thing was I defended him for years and he never knew.”

Her heart broke.

“With your teammates?” she asked.

“Yes. I’m the star of the team. My senior year everyone said I was going to be drafted first.”

She grinned. “You weren’t.”

He laughed. “Thanks for the reminder. But I was the first quarterback.”

“The highest part of your life you didn’t have them,” she said.

He turned to look at her. “No. I realized I never had them. So when Penelope was born, maybe I didn’t feel like I had to share that news. It’s not like it was this happy news when it was going on. But then when she was born, she was mine. I got to love her the way I didn’t feel like I was loved. I sound like a wuss saying this.”

“Don’t,” she said. “Please don’t feel that way. I want you to talk to me about what you feel. You had something you didn’t want to share. That’s your choice. And you should damn well tell the world that when it comes time. Every woman out there is going to fall in love with you if they aren’t already. Every father is going to nod their head in respect of your protection.”

“I didn’t think about that,” he said.

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