Page 101 of Hell and High Water

Even so, no rules have been established. No norms. None of us knows the dynamic of how we each fit in. Not yet, anyway.

I’m still struggling with my own frustrating mental battle when we arrive back at the safe house, hurrying inside and rekeying the door for posterity’s sake. Never hurts to err on the side of caution.

The four of us gather around the table, Evan spreading out several files he brought with him from the office, Tell setting up his laptop to look over the flash drives, and me fidgeting like a jackass because I don’t have anything to do. I should have at least brought my gun cleaning kit.

“Look at this! Ledgers. Accounts opened and closed. It looks like an outline of how he found each of the other Sinful over the years based on their movements and following the money. Genius!” Tell mumbles almost to himself, clicking along. “Gah, there’s decades of records here. It’s going to take a while to whittle this down.”

“I’ll start breakfast…” I mumble, getting to work on making food. My hands are twitching, needing something to keep them occupied. “Anybody else want a beer?”

“Gavin. It’s ten a.m.” Hellena raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, well, A lot of shit’s already gone down today, so I'm having a beer.” I look around the table for takers.

Tell and Evan both raise their hands.

Followed by a more reluctant Hellena. “Why the hell not?”

The three of them sift through the journal, the files, the drives, while I throw together a huge pan of pepper and cheese scramble and French toast. Easy enough to make in bulk for a group.

And what a group we’ve become.

Almost in an immediate retort to my feelings of awkwardness in the car, the sense of camaraderie around the table loosens up something inside me, a door I closed a long time ago. The feeling of family, of being part of a team.

It’s overwhelming. Uncomfortable.

And great at the same time.

Going from being a hermit alone in the woods to having a roommate whom I quickly fell in love with, to having two more members of our crew who also happen to be in love with the same woman…

Bizarre.

It shouldn’t work. A younger version of myself wouldn’t have let it work, wouldn’t have been willing to share.

But now?

I just want to make Helena happy.

It's the most selfless I've ever felt for sure.

And each of them means the world to her. So they mean the world to me. Each of us brings something unique to the table, to our relationship with her.

“The more I dig, the more ridiculous this all feels.” Hellena leans back, taking a break as I set out our plates.

“What do you mean? The fact that we all worked for a clandestine organization for the last several years and took orders anonymously from phone calls?” Tell smirks.

She laughs. “Tip of the iceberg.”

“Be that as it may, there's always been trust behind that.” Evan folds his hands. “There was always a clear give and take. I mean, at least for my part. I was pulled out of a pretty rough situation. I was given responsibilities, purpose. A mission.”

“Same here.” Tell looks serious for a change, nodding in agreement. “My life was a disaster before Spite got in touch with me, put my skills to use. I could have ended up a shut-in like my family thought I was, for real.”

“I never could stomach the idea of working for them.” I let it slip without thinking.

Tell snorts. “Wait, they approached you, too?”

“Of course they did. A few times.”

“And you just…”

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