Page 37 of The Inquirer

Except I didn’t really want the juice. And, honestly, I didn’t actually want a beer. I wanted to keep pretending that if I just ignored everything, my life could keep moving on the way it always had. Then again, my “always had” had never included being in Savannah and trying to figure out what I wanted with the smoking hot cowboy next door.

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on the freezer door. I knew what I wanted to do with Bradyn. That was the problem. I knew it but was too chickenshit to do anything about it.

Rose’s text tone pulled me out of my thoughts before they could get too X-rated. I went back to the desk and opened her message.

I got asked to the Halloween dance!!!

Half a dozen gifs followed, all of them showing one form of excitement or another, and each one made me smile.

I thought you and your friends were going as a group?

We are, but they still asked! They’re going to come with all of us, but they really wanted it to just be them and me.

I tapped out my reply and added a few gifs of my own. Who is it?

Ty Gilmore.

I knew that name. Ty was a year older than Rose and had moved into Rose’s neighborhood around Christmas last year. A few months after they’d met, Ty had told Rose that they identified as non-binary, and that was why they’d had to move. Ty’s dad had beaten them when he’d found them trying on eyeliner. He was in jail now, and Ty’s mom had moved the two of them to New York City, hoping Ty would be able to find a place here. It’d been no surprise to any of us that Rose had immediately declared herself their protector.

I’m happy for you. I smiled as I wrote the message. Rose wasn’t one to go all weird around someone she liked, but the last couple months, I’d suspected she’d had a crush on Ty.

All of us decided we want to go as Guardians of the Galaxy now that we have enough people. I know you already bought me that zombie costume, but I really want all of us to match. Is it okay if I get something else? I won’t be mad if you say no.

Leave it to Rose to make her good news into her worrying about my feelings. I loved that kid so damn much it scared me sometimes. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to handle being a mother.

Not that motherhood was really an option for me at this point. Hell, I didn’t even know if I’d ever want to have kids. I needed to get my own shit together before I started worrying about anyone else.

That was a thought for another time, though.

Of course it’s okay. I’ll bet Sitara can use the zombie one at the shop for decoration.

That’s a great idea! I’ll ask her. Now I just have to decide if I want to be Rocket or Gamora. Ty is going to be Groot.

I settled on the couch as I sent my response. I guess it depends on if you want to paint yourself green or wear fur.

Back and forth the conversation went. Rose told me all the pros and cons of both characters. A phone call probably would’ve been faster, but I was more like Rose in the fact that I generally preferred texts to talking. I liked having time to think things through, to re-read what I’d written. Sure, there was always the problem of not having inflection and all that, but when I was texting someone like Kaimi or Rose, they knew me well enough to know when I was being sarcastic or whatever.

By the time Rose and I finished, it was evening, heading into night. I’d finished my dinner and was considering showering and turning in early, maybe with a book or binge some Fear Thy Neighbor, but Rose’s last text changed all that.

How’s Bradyn?

Rose’s question caught me off-guard, but I should’ve expected it. She’d asked about him when we’d talked to each other earlier this week. I was still trying to figure out how to answer her when another text came through.

I really like him. Is he coming home with you, or are you waiting to see where things go? I don’t want you to move to Savannah, but I want you to be happy more. If you do move, I’ll miss you, but I can come visit, right?

Shit.

She’d be picking out her bridesmaid dress if I didn’t say something.

You’re getting way ahead of things. He’s not my boyfriend so I don’t think we need to be worrying about where we’ll be living. I’ll be back home as soon as I finish what I’m doing here. We’ll see what happens then.

I couldn’t believe I was explaining my love life to a thirteen-year-old. Better than trying to explain my sex life, I guessed.

I’m young, but I’m not an idiot. I saw the two of you dancing at the wedding. He looks at you the way Sitara looks at Mom. And you pretend to be all hard and stuff, but I know you like him too.

Fuck.

She was right.

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