If I’d been at home, I probably would’ve taken a bath and fallen asleep, but that wasn’t exactly the safest thing to do when I was this tired, which meant it was probably a good thing that I’d cleaned up here. It almost made up for the fact that his shampoo and soap had that faint spicy scent that immediately sent my mind back to the two of us on the couch. The feel of him. The smell.
I winced as I stepped out of the shower and mentally cursed myself for how rough things had gotten. Not because I hadn’t wanted it, but because I was going to be feeling it for a while.
I was still drying myself off when I realized that I’d left my pants and underwear downstairs by the couch. Shit. Sure, I’d walked into the bathroom wearing only my bra and shirt, but it just felt weird to put those back on and return to the living room bare-assed. I should’ve thought things through better, but I’d been so overcome with so many emotions, I hadn’t been thinking.
I set aside the towel and picked up my bra. I’d put it and my shirt back on, then wrap the towel around my waist until I gathered my other clothes. Simple. As I began to put on my bra, I averted my eyes from my reflection like I always did.
I didn’t need the reminders, especially right now.
“Rona, I thought you might want some clean clothes to wear home…” Jalen’s voice trailed off as he opened the door…and saw what I’d hidden from everyone since I was thirteen years old.
The ugly, jagged scar that began right under my collarbone and went down between my breasts, then under the right side of my ribcage and all the way back to my spine. I had nice breasts, but no one saw them because when my shirt was off, I knew the only thing anyone would ever see was the scar.
And now, it’d be the only thing Jalen ever saw when he looked at me.
I grabbed the clothes in his hands and yanked them on as he apologized and asked questions and swore that he hadn’t meant to invade my privacy. I ignored all of it and avoided even looking at him. It wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t done anything wrong. But I couldn’t even reassure him because I had to focus on breathing, putting one foot in front of the other.
Running away. Because that’s what I did when things went wrong. I ran.