Page 57 of Take Me, Sir

Kyndall

Spendingall night at Santa Monica Pier had done exactly what I wanted it to do: kept my mind from turning over how things had gone with Dean. Every time I felt my thoughts going back to the fight, back to his accusations, I'd been able to find something new to distract myself with.

Three of the bands had been amazing, each with their own unique and fresh sound so that they hadn't bled into one another. The fourth hadn't been quite as good, but by then, I'd essentially had a contact high courtesy of the numerous audience members around me who'd been smoking pot, so that might've had something to do with it.

I tried marijuana once in college but hadn't liked the hazy, out of control feeling I'd felt. It was why I rarely got drunk. A little buzzed wasn't too bad, but I'd never liked being completely trashed. No, the only time I ever liked feeling like I wasn't in control was when I'd allowed Dean to be in charge. That'd been a completely different story because I'd known he wouldn't let anything hurt me.

Once I realized how fuzzy everything had been getting, I wandered away from the concerts to see what else I could find. With it being summer, the place had been packed, both with locals and tourists. The air had been heavy with the mingled scents of myriad foods, sweat, and the ocean. It'd almost been overwhelming, but I'd taken the time to distinguish between the different aromas. Buttered popcorn. Something spicy that I was sure would burn my taste buds. Meat. Vegetables. Cotton candy. The salty, fishy smell of the ocean.

At some point, I found myself on the Ferris Wheel, and I'd ridden that for hours, letting my mind wander. I didn't talk to anyone outside of what was necessary, smiling whenever a comment was directed my way but never engaging. Being surrounded by people was good for where my head was, but communication wasn't something I wanted at the moment.

As the sun rose, I found myself sitting at the end of the pier, watching the brilliant colors throwing themselves across the sky. I'd always been more of a night person, but since my nights sometimes ended at sunrise, watching it come up wasn't a new thing for me, but seeing it streak across the ocean was definitely something else. It was a reminder of all that was good and true and worth pursuing, and it twisted something deep inside of me.

My eyes stung, and I wiped at them, excusing the sudden welling up of tears as a reaction to the light and the brisk wind off of the water. I slipped on my sandals and got to my feet. I'd been out all night, and I was tired, but not as much as I would've thought. I didn't know if it was my second wind, or if my brain knew that I still wasn't ready to go home yet.

I took my time strolling down the boardwalk, watching as attractions and restaurants opened. I stopped by one of the food carts as it was being set up and purchased a drink, the sun already hot on my skin. It was going to be another scorcher, and I hadn't put on any sunblock yesterday, so I made another stop.

Five minutes later, smelling strongly of coconut oil, I emerged from the restroom and continued my walk. I'd always liked getting to see things in two different ways, observing juxtaposition in real-life. Seeing everything on the pier in the early morning light after having seen it all in the darkness a few hours ago was one of those things. Sunlight versus shadows. Beginning of the day versus the end of the night.

Being with Dean was like that, I realized suddenly. Some people would look at him and see only his money. Others would hear his proper accent, or see how he kept his emotions from his expression, and think he was cold.

He did have money, and he definitely knew how to keep his feelings close to his chest, but those were only two small parts of who he was.

People at the club Dean had taken me to knew him as a Dom, and associated those common characteristics with him. Granted, he had a lot of the same traits as other Doms – strength and charisma, among other things – but he was more than those things as well.

In the short time I'd known him, I'd gotten to see all that, but I'd also gotten to see Dean's kindness. His passion, as well as his overprotective nature. I'd heard him laugh, and seen him vulnerable.

Even though all of the pieces that came together to make him seemed like they were opposites, I knew they were complementary pieces coming together to form a full picture. A picture that fascinated me in inexplicable ways.

I sighed as I made my way off the pier and down onto the beach. I paused to take my sandals off again and let my toes sink into the warm sand. The mid-morning sun was coming down strong, so I lifted my hair off my neck and let the breeze coming in off the water cool the sheen of perspiration on my skin.

One of the few things I did miss about where I'd grown up was that my family's home had been in a relatively rural area. I did love most things about living in cities, but every once in a while, it was nice to just appreciate the quiet. Aside from my apartment, there were very few places or times in LA when something this tranquil was possible, so I allowed myself to enjoy it while it lasted.

A child's shout made me open my eyes, and I smiled as a little Hispanic boy ran past me and into the water. Toddling a few feet behind him was a little girl with pigtailed curls bouncing on her head. I couldn't help but smile as they both squealed in delight when the waves crashed over their feet.

“Angelica! Marco!” A woman came into my line of sight. “Nothing over the ankles!” She looked up at me and sighed, shaking her head. “Where do they get the energy?”

Then she hurried off after the kids as they ran farther down the beach. She may have looked and sounded harried, but there was absolutely no doubt of her love for those kids.

Suddenly, it was like I could see a whole other scenario unfolding in front of me.

“Hayley! Owen! Don't go too far!”

I watched as the pair went running across the sand, shrieking as they made their mad dash into the water. Hayley's dark waves were wild today, and I knew they'd be even worse after a day in salt water, but it was always worth it to see the kids so happy. Owen's lighter hair was already sun-streaked, and both kids were tanned. We'd spent a lot of time at the beach this summer.

“They get that from you, you know.”

A pair of strong arms slid around my waist, and I shivered when Dean's lips pressed against the back of my neck. After all this time together, he still had the ability to make me weak in the knees. His fingers teased under the hem of my tank top, sending another shiver through me. He traced the scar on my stomach, my permanent physical reminder of the terrifying ordeal that had led to the birth of our son.

“What do they get from me?” I asked. “Besides their intelligence, of course.”

He chuckled, that same low sound that had led to the creation of our son in the first place. I couldn't pinpoint the exact encounter that had led to Hayley's conception, but Owen's, I knew for certain.

Dean, Cross, and Dalton had been away for a boys' weekend, and I'd gotten sick. I'd refused to call Dean to ask him to come home, and by the time he'd gotten home, I'd been nearly unconscious. I'd spent a week in the hospital, and then Dean had insisted on taking care of me for another week, which included resisting sex until one night when he'd laughed like that, and I'd practically jumped him.

“That wild streak,” he said. “They definitely get that from you.”

I tried to give him an offended look but couldn't manage to hold it for more than a few seconds before laughing. “I suppose the giveaway was when Hayley tried cheating at Uno last night.”

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