I smiled and leaned into him more, moving my arms up to hug him. “I’d love to.”
We stood there like this for a while, and I enjoyed the warmth he gave me by simply holding me. All of them would have that effect, but with Bennett, it was different.
“Let’s go.” He moved away and slid his fingers through mine before lifting my hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it. He gave me one more smile, and I let him lead me upstairs to the others.
“There she is. You okay?” Leo asked with a gentle grin on his lips.
“I’m more than okay. Ben said there’s cake left?”
“Of course. Let me get you some.”
While Leo went to get us all another round of cake, I sat down with Bennett and reached for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table. They hadn’t been there before. Looking up, I studied Watson and Kline’s faces, wondering which of the two smoked.
“Those are mine. Do you smoke?” Watson asked.
“No, I don’t.” I pursed my lips and studied the pack in my hand before putting it back down with a tight smile. “I’ve always disliked the smell of cigarettes. And I think smoking is unnecessary.”
“It definitely is,” Ben stated, shooting a glance at Watson.
He sighed and ran a hand through his long hair. “I know it is. It’s a bad habit. It’s hard to let go of it.”
I wasn’t judging him for smoking. I had no right to assume that he smoked simply out of enjoyment. Some people needed it for whatever reason. I just didn’t understand it when you could simply do other things to relax or…whatever.
“He’s been trying to quit, but he just keeps going back to it,” Ben explained.
“Is it just the smell that bothers you?” Kline asked.
I turned my head to look at him. I shrugged. “It’s mostly the smell, but also the smoke. I have asthma.”
“Shit,” Watson murmured. “To be fair…I don’t smoke a lot. Like I said…it’s a stupid habit. Had I known it bothers you so much, I wouldn’t have gone outside to take a drag.”
I smiled at Watson. “It’s okay, Watson. You didn’t do it to my face. And, like you said, it’s a stupid habit. Everyone has those.”
“Hard to believe you have one,” Leo said with a grin.
He put the plates with the cake on it down, and we each grabbed one.
I started eating the cake, and while they watched me intently, I tried to figure out which bad habit of mine I wanted to admit to. They weren’t life-threatening things, but they happened out of anxiety and boredom, and I had yet to figure out how to stop.
“I bite my nails and pick at my skin. The nail-biting isn’t so bad, but the skin-picking can get bloody sometimes.” Admitting to it to the four men I was starting to really like was hard, but it wasn’t like they couldn’t have figured it out without me speaking about it.
They could look at my hands and see that they weren’t perfectly manicured, like Willa’s, for example. Her nails were naturally long and well taken care of, and she used oils and other hand creams to keep her fingers smooth and pretty. She always had a pretty color on her nails as well, and her hands just suited her overall beauty.
After he was done eating, Bennett reached for my hand, and I let him pull it to his lap reluctantly. He studied it, taking each finger between his forefinger and thumb to inspect them. “Do you do this impulsively?”
I nodded. “Sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m doing it until there’s blood.”
“Is there a root cause for skin-picking?” Leo asked, sounding truly interested.
“I think it’s different for everyone, but for most, it’s because of anxiety.”
“Do you have anxiety?” Watson asked, sounding worried.
I shrugged and smiled gently. “Sometimes. But not the kind where I can’t function. I guess it’s just…me overthinking that causes anxiety. I’m usually pretty confident.”
“We’ve noticed,” Bennett said with a chuckle. He patted the back of my hand, then he let it go again so I could finish my cake. “My bad habit is junk food.”
I looked at him with a surprised expression. “Really?”