Page 14 of When She's Handy

I slam into a large body. I stagger backward in surprise, practically crashing into the side of the building as I try to keep my balance. A big hand reaches out and grabs my arm, helping me upright.

It’s Brux, and my toast is now stuck to the front of his dock uniform.

“Oh my god!” Horrified, I reach out and pry my toast off his tunic, but it leaves a smear in the shape of the toast. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there.”

“I noticed.”

Brux doesn’t smile to take the sting out of his words. He shifts uncomfortably on his feet, his tail twitching with agitation…

…and then I notice that he’s got a cart behind him, full of scrap.

Oh. He’s not here because he’s jealous. He’s just bringing me scrap. I’m so crushed I could weep.

“I thought you were gone,” I blurt out. “That you’d left.”

“Not quite yet. I wanted to bring you the rest of the scrap.” He scratches the side of his jaw, tail flicking wildly. “Wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about how things went between us.”

So he’s not madly in love with me? It’s not what I wanted to hear, but it just proves again that he’s a decent guy. I manage a smile. “I appreciate the scrap.”

“And the apology?”

I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t know how I feel about that part, to be honest. You hurt my feelings. I made myself vulnerable to you and it felt like you slapped me in the face. I don’t know what you think of me, but I don’t throw myself at every alien I see. Just the ones that I haven’t been able to get out of my head for the last five years.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I wanted it to be more. It’s just…” He stares off into the distance. “That last time you and I got together, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was for all the wrong reasons.”

“Sex can’t be just for sex?”

“Maybe I’m a strange sort, but every time I’ve had sex just for sex, I didn’t like it. Left me uncomfortable.” He shrugs, still not looking me in the eye. “I need more. And when I saw you again, well, I guess I wanted something different from you.”

“I…don’t know if I should be offended or not. What do you mean?”

Brux rubs his hard mouth again. “Kef. I’m saying this all wrong. I just…” He turns and walks away, and my heart stops all over again. A moment later, he changes his mind and turns back to me. “Where was I born?”

Now I’m the one confused. “Huh?”

“Where was I born?”

“I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“Where did I lose my horns?” Brux waves an oversized hand at his large head and the two capped stumps. Then, he gestures at the side of his neck, which is covered in black symbols. “Or this tattoo?”

I shrug.

“What am I allergic to?”

I’m on the verge of being offended, because I feel as if I’m being set up to fail. “I don’t know. Is this a test?”

“No, this is me proving a point.” Brux surges toward me again, his hand out, his expression eager. He stops himself just before he touches me and takes a step back once more, lowering his hand. “When we have sex, I want it to be because we know each other—all the beautiful and all the ugly parts—and want to go further.”

“When?” I ask.

“When,” he agrees. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you, either. But right now, all I know about you is that your name is Melody and I saved you once. All you know about me is that I’m the one that saved you. Shit isn’t squared between us. It’s not even. It’s all fucked up. Do you understand?”

My heart squeezes. I nod. “Because if we just have sex then you feel no better than the ones that used me in the past.”

His shoulders sag. “Exactly. And maybe you can look past it, but I can’t.”

That stupid knot forms in my throat again. “So how do we fix this?”

---