Page 13 of When She's Handy

We finish our lunch and it’s nice. Aithar’s good with conversation, even as he shyly shoots me attentive glances. I can tell he doesn’t date a lot. I can tell he’s really interested in me. Still is, despite me letting him down months ago.

When we head back out into the street, I keep my head down, as if the rain is bothering me. Truth is, I don’t want to see Brux still standing in the rain, staring at me like I’m doing something wrong. I’m not the one in the wrong here. I told him how I felt. It’s not my fault he didn’t feel the same. I shouldn’t feel guilty for moving on.

We get back to the cantina under construction and I shake my wet hair out, giving Aithar a bright smile to hide the churning feelings inside me. “It was a nice lunch.”

“Was it? You seem very unhappy.” The look he gives me is gentle. “Perhaps it was not me you wished to be with.”

A protest rises to my lips, and then I stop. There’s no point in lying about it. “I wish I felt more strongly about you. I love being your friend, but I’m afraid my heart is tied up with someone else.”

“The big guy without the horns?” he asks. “The one that followed us?”

“He followed us?” I hadn’t noticed. I’d been so torn up inside that I hadn’t looked up from my shoes.

A hint of a smile touches Aithar’s mouth. “Yeah. He looked as if he wanted to tear my face off for touching you.”

I’m a terrible person, because hearing that thrills me. “Oh.”

His smile becomes a little more forced. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Aithar.”

The a’ani gives a small shake of his head. “Don’t be. My kind always lose out to mesakkah. We’re used to it.”

“It still makes me an asshole.”

The smile he gives me is sad. “You’re just trying to figure yourself out. We all are.”

“I hope you find the woman—or man—that deserves you,” I tell him, and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Until then, I’d really like to be your friend.”

“And you want our scrap metals,” he teases.

“And that. And I can get you a good deal on a toaster.”

Aithar chuckles. “I’ll talk to the others. In the meantime, perhaps you should go and talk to your friend before he decides I’m a threat and does something I’ll regret.”

I nod and give him a quick hug, then slip out the door of the cantina. Emerging into the rain, I scan the street and there’s no sign of anyone at all. No Brux. I’m disappointed that he’s not waiting on the cantina’s doorstep, but I also don’t want to cause trouble for Aithar and his friends. I head out, deliberately taking the long way home despite the pouring rain. What normally takes two minutes to walk ends up taking twenty, but still no Brux. Soaked and dismayed, I head up to my room.

Maybe Aithar was wrong. Maybe Brux wasn’t following us at all.

The next day dawns sunny, which depresses me. It’s clear weather, which means the workers at the space port will be hard at work, probably finishing up the job. Fuck. I’m tempted to go over and demand to speak to Brux again, but I chased after him last time. At some point, he’ll have to come after me.

I’ve got to keep some scrap of dignity, right?

After I dress, I shove my feet into my boots without lacing them and head down to the dining room in the boarding house. The owner always provides a breakfast of some kind, even if it’s usually the terrible, cakey version of Risda bread. I make myself some toast with jam and sit down to eat at the same table as Daphne, the seamstress who also lives here full-time. As usual, Daphne is bent over a piece of clothing she’s repairing, her food getting cold next to her.

“You look busy this morning,” I comment between bites of toast.

She nods, picking at another stitch. “You’d think when they send these crews out that they’d send some sort of machine to repair their uniforms, but no. Do you know how much they charge these men to fix a tear?”

“More than you charge?” I guess, mouth full.

She doesn’t even look up, just smiles wryly at her work as she continues. “Exactly. Which is why I need to get this all done as quickly as possible. I got a notice that the job at the dock is done and so of course they all want their uniforms back today, wouldn’t you know.”

I choke on the toast, and struggle down a sip of tea to clear my throat. “T-today?”

“That’s what I heard. Pick up a needle if you want to help me. I need all the hands I can get.”

“I…can’t. Busy.” I shove my toast in my mouth and race out the door, limping as my boots threaten to fall off my feet. I have to go. Have to talk to Brux. Have to talk to him before he just abandons me here again?—

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