Page 63 of Whistle

What the ever-loving fuck was wrong with me? My swimmer was trying to talk to me, hoping for guidance and reassurance, and what was I doing? Daydreaming about kissing someone half my age.

I was depraved.

Clearing my throat, I nodded once. “I think that could be the case.”

“It’s probably Brynne.”

Walsh and I turned to see Rush standing nearby, clearly listening to our conversation. By the look on his face, I’d say he didn’t really want to join in, but it was as though he couldn’t help himself.

I understand more than he knows.

“His sister,” Walsh said.

Rush nodded and reluctantly came closer. “She was found in the campus pool at Pembrook.” He reminded us. “At first, everyone thought she’d just drowned.”

“But she really hit her head and then fell into the pool,” Walsh amended.

“Yeah. Dead before she was tossed in the water.” Rush’s voice was subdued.

“We don’t have to talk about this, son,” I told him.

He nodded. “I know. I’m just saying. He quit swimming when she died. Sometimes…” He went silent.

Walsh and I stood there quietly and waited him out. “I used to see her body when I swam afterward too. For months.”

Ryan laid his hand on Rush’s shoulder. “I think anyone would.”

Rush nodded. “I thought maybe, for me, it was because they forced me to look at all the photos. Of her body.” He cleared his throat. “But a person’s imagination could supply that image. Especially if it’s someone you literally were born with.”

All death was hard. But unexpected and traumatic death seemed even more cruel. Look at how irrevocably my life had changed… and that wasn’t my twin.

“Were they, ah, close?” I asked.

Rush nodded. “Very. We were like the three musketeers.”

“I’ll talk to him. He’s living in our dorm, right?” Ryan asked.

I rattled off his dorm room number.

Silence greeted me, and I looked up. They were staring. I made a face. “I know all your room numbers, morons. I’m the one they call when you mouth breathers get in trouble.”

“Right.” Ryan agreed. “I’m gonna go change. I’m starving.”

I waved him off and turned back to the pool, ordering everyone out to stretch and shower. When I turned back, Rush was still there.

“What?”

“I just can’t right now,” he said.

My brow wrinkled. “Can’t what?”

“Talk to Bodhi,” he answered. “He thinks I came and got him just to show off that I’m happy or whatever.”

“He said that?”

Rush nodded. “Maybe he didn’t mean it, but it still bothers me. He, ah…”

“I know,” I said, not making him say out loud how much Bodhi accusing him of killing Brynne hurt. “Don’t blame yourself. You’ve done what you could, which is frankly more than most would do.”

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