Page 190 of Whistle

But mostly, I wanted to swim for Em.

Em who was all in. Em who had told his daughter about me. Hell, an entire room filled with Elite. He told me he loved me.

I’d become a professional fuck-up in the last year, but I refused to fuck this up too.

So here I was, standing in the locker room in the standard black Speedo while anxious energy buzzed in the air. It had been a long time since I’d competed. Actually, since I swam at all. What if I choked in the water? Wiped out in epic fashion? What if the trauma I pushed through in the river the other night decided to rear its ugly head?

Bro. My thoughts be thinking. It was giving my anxiety anxiety.

“I thought you might need this.”

I looked up just as a small paper cup was pushed under my nose. After a cursory glance at what was clearly coffee, I followed the hand wrapped around it, up the pale-skinned arm, over a bare shoulder, and stopped on a face with piercing pale-blue eyes. Lars.

“What is it?” I asked even though I already knew.

“It’s a latte,” Lars replied, still holding it out. “I drink espresso before every meet. It’s my tradition. Most Americans I know don’t like to drink straight espresso or even black coffee, so I got you a latte instead.”

Was he rambling? I’d never heard him speak so many words. He’s nervous.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Why?”

He shrugged. “It’s your first meet here. Figured you might be nervous.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if he’d poisoned it, but you know I was trying to be better, so I kept the scathing accusation to myself. Relaxing my stance, I took the cup. The warmth on my palm was actually kinda nice.

Reluctantly, I said, “Thanks.”

“Good luck today,” he offered, then turned to go.

“Why are you being nice to me?”

He paused before turning back. When he did, I couldn’t help but notice the definition in his upper body. He was conditioned. In shape. Good-looking.

Pissed me off.

“Because Rush cares about you.”

“If he cared that much, he wouldn’t have been so eager to replace me with you.” Oops. Did I say that out loud?

I felt some side-eye coming from down the bleachers. I knew some of the others were listening and probably preparing to jump in and defend their angel.

“If I really was a replacement, you wouldn’t be here,” Lars pointed out.

Scoffing, I took a sip of the latte. It was good. Dammit.

“Rush is important to us both. And Landry is like my sister,” he stated.

“So?”

“So aren’t you and Coach a thing?”

“Define thing.” It was like being a brat was my natural default.

Lars smiled. “He has total daddy energy.”

I tried to cut it off but was woefully unsuccessful and snorted a laugh.

Lars’s smile turned into a grin.

---