Page 8 of The Love You Win

No. He didn’t. He never understood why I’d choose to work in a district with more issues and less pay. Money is king to Alex. That’s his passion. Mine is making kids believe they can do whatever they put their minds to if they work hard enough and persevere.

Nevaeh takes my silence as the answer it is. “Well, we’re putting you first. We’re going to do nice things for you until you remember what you knew back in high school when we met. That you’re Isla Harding. You’re smart, and funny, and kind. You’re one of the most confident women I know. You have a killer body, your laugh is the best sound ever, and any man would be lucky to spend even an hour in your presence.”

Silence stretches between us when she’s done speaking. Only the patter of water on the tiled shower floor fills the bathroom. I wish it were as easy as all that. If someone came up with some magic pill that restored all the confidence to your soul that some evil ex stole, I’d be the first in line to buy it. But it’s not that easy, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be that woman again.

“What do I even say to some famous hockey player?” I need to change the subject. “I know nothing about hockey. I’ve never watched a game in my life.”

Jess shrugs. “You don’t have to talk about hockey. Talk about movies or your favorite foods. Ask him questions. Treat him like a normal person. He’ll probably like that more, anyway.”

“Besides,” Nevaeh adds as I run conditioner through my hair, “he’s a public figure. He’s probably great at making conversation with people he doesn’t know.”

God, I hope so. “I really don’t want to do this.”

“We know.” Jess unpacks makeup from her kit and sets it out on the counter beside Nevaeh. “But seriously, babes, this is the perfect way to get back in the game. I swear. You get to have a pressure-free first date with a hot, attentive man and rebuild your confidence. He’s not someone you’re trying to start a relationship with—hell, he’s not even someone you probably have anything in common with—so it doesn’t matter if you blow it. And since you know it doesn’t matter if you blow it, you won’t feel pressured to be the perfect date. It’ll let you relax and enjoy yourself.”

Nevaeh nods. “Exactly. And then when we create a profile for you on some dating sites, you won’t feel nearly as out of your depth as you would have.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never agreed to dating sites.”

“Not yet, you haven’t,” Jess says. “But you will.”

“I just want to focus on me for a while. Alex and I were together for so long, I don’t even know who I am without him.” Probably because he wore me down with his snide comments and backhanded compliments. “Besides, maybe I just want to stay single.”

“Forever?” Jess’s face is comical. She can’t believe I’d say something like that.

I shrug because who knows? I’m just talking out of my ass. “Maybe. Are men really worth the trouble?”

“Oh, sweetie, Alex wasn’t worth the trouble. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a man out there who is.” Nevaeh’s voice is soft as she continues. “We know you’re scared. It’s hard to put yourself out there after getting your heart broken. Especially after something like what happened to you. But you can do this. I know you’re strong enough to open yourself up again.”

I’m not sure I am. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be strong enough. And I really am fine on my own. But when I lie in bed at night, too tired to be anything but honest with myself, I do hope I find someone to share my life with. Someone who will look at me and truly see me. Who’ll love me more than his money or his status or his career.

“But what if I’m not strong enough? What if this is my life now? What if I wasted all of my best years on a man who never really loved me?”

“I’m sure he loved you, Isla.”

I finish washing off, making sure my legs are smooth and my pits aren’t hairy. “That’s the thing, Jess. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure he didn’t. Alex never loved me. He loved being loved. He loved having someone around who would stroke his ego and support his dreams. I was a tool to further his own happiness, and at least at first, I fit the image he wanted to project. Whatever he felt for me, it was selfish. I can see that now.”

I only wish I’d recognized it sooner.

“Maybe,” Jess says. “But I can tell you one thing for sure. You did not waste your best years on Alex Jones. Not by a long shot. You’re only twenty-six, you’re a badass teacher, you’re smart and successful, and girl, look at you. I’m looking at your naked body right now, and it is bangin’.”

“Oh. My. God. Stop being weird, and stop looking at my nakedness!”

“Then hurry and finish showering, already. We have to get our pretty princess ready for the ball.”

I cringe as I turn off the water and wrap myself in a towel. If this is a ball, why do I have the feeling I’m going to end the night amidst a wrecked magical carriage with a missing shoe and pumpkin guts plastered to my ass?

four

ISLA

This place is fancy.

“I’m so jealous you get to eat here,” Jess whines. “The waitlist to get a reservation is like six months long.”

I could never afford dinner somewhere like this. I have no idea how long their waitlist is because places like this aren’t even on my radar. Every once in a while, Nevaeh and Jess will try to talk me into letting them take me out somewhere fancy, but I always decline. I’m a simple girl. I like good books, pizza, movie nights in, and driving far enough outside of the city that I can find a nice trail to hike. It’s not that money makes me uncomfortable, it’s just that it’s never mattered all that much to me. As long as I can pay my bills and the stress of being broke doesn’t eat me alive, I’m happy. I grew up solidly middle class. We never went on extravagant vacations or had brand-new cars, but we also never went without the necessities.

I don’t need more than that. In fact, I’ve seen too much money turn people into miserly, unhappy shadows of themselves.

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