Page 69 of The Love You Win

The first week and a half of school goes by in a blur of early mornings, learning my students’ names, and getting back into the swing of things. Maddox and I don’t see each other as often during those first two weeks of school because their practice is kicking into high gear to prepare for the preseason on top of my extra hours at school. But we talk and text constantly, and he shows up with dinner a few times. We haven’t officially defined the relationship, but I know neither of us is seeing anyone else, and I’ve caught feelings. Hard.

Maybe that’s why I’m a ball of jittery nerves as I get ready this morning. It’s the day of the assembly, and for whatever reason, it feels like a defining moment. Today, Maddox will stand up in front of my whole school, and I don’t think there will be any hiding our relationship after this. Not that I want to hide it from anyone outside of the media and nosey strangers, but still. There won’t be any going back from this, and that old worry that I’m not good enough claws its way up my throat.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror at an ungodly hour, I take extra care curling my long, red hair. My makeup is impeccable. I spent hours last night choosing my outfit. I look cute, and better than I do most school days, but Alex’s voice keeps popping up in my head like some demonic jack-in-the-box.

Is that what you’re wearing tonight? I asked you to make an effort.

I really wish you’d straighten your hair. The curls look so… unkempt.

That dress is a little tighter on you than it was a few months ago. Have you gained some weight?

“He was an asshole,” I assure my reflection. “It doesn’t matter what he thought about you. Especially since he rarely made you come.”

Maddox has a huge dick. Not like, Oh my god, does he have elephantitis? huge, but definitely I’m going to get lockjaw from sucking that glorious cock huge.

“Get it together and stop thinking about penises,” I scold my reflection. “You have young minds to mold today. You can’t start the morning off horny.”

Unfortunately, that part of the self-pep-talk doesn’t stick. I am almost always horny since Maddox and I started dating. I used to think I had a low sex drive, but now that I’m dating someone who lights my panties on fire, it was clearly a lack of chemistry and emotional connection.

“Stop thinking about sex, Isla.” And with a stupid grin on my face, I get in my car and drive to work.

There’s an excitement and energy going into this new school year. Teaching can be a thankless profession, so it means so much when someone says you’re doing important work and recognizes you for it. But to have that someone be a professional athlete admired by so many of the staff? It’s added a shot of adrenaline to the heart of Center High.

Everyone buzzes about the assembly. Even the students who have never watched a hockey game in their lives look forward to getting out of class for an hour and asking a pro athlete questions. It makes the first half of the day a bit of a bust since no one can seem to concentrate on the material, but I don’t scold my students about it. I can’t concentrate, either.

When one p.m. rolls around, my chest is a mess of butterflies and nerves. I instruct my class of excited juniors to line up, smoothing my sweaty hands down my jeans.

“Ms. Harding?” One of my students, a super smart girl named Carmen, raises her hand in line. “Is it true you’re dating the guy speaking at the assembly today?”

The whole class goes silent, waiting for my answer. Of course, that makes my pasty cheeks flame hot with color, and they all hoot and holler. “Where did you hear that?”

Carmen grins. “My brother is obsessed with the Rogues. He said there are photos of you two together on a few fan sites.”

Oh, my god. I hope they’re not bad photos. “There are?” I squeak. Not very authoritative, Isla. Carmen just grins and nods. “Are they at least good pictures?”

That has the whole class laughing. Carmen takes pity on me. “Yeah, you looked good in them, Ms. H. One looks like it was in a hot air balloon or something.”

My photo from our date made it on some fan site? I had my profile set to private before I posted that, and Maddox didn’t post anything from that night. I know the pilot wouldn’t have done something like that—not if he wanted to get any future business from high-profile clientele—which means one of my followers posted it. And all of my followers are people I do, or have, considered friends.

Oh well, it’s a problem for another day. And it’s probably not a problem at all. It just feels strange, and kind of invasive. Sure, you should always assume that anything you post on the internet will make its way to the public for mass consumption, but I’ve never been in a position where anyone would care about the choices I make with my life.

My students are still watching me with curious expressions, so I shrug. “He took me up in a hot air balloon for one of our dates. It was pretty cool.”

“I’d puke if I was that high in the air in an open basket,” Brian, one of my students, says as he clutches his stomach.

“That’s so romantic,” another girl coos, her hands clasped under her chin. “Was it romantic?”

My chuckle is uncomfortable. I am so not discussing my dates with my students. “It was. But we’re not here to learn about my dating life, right?” I clap my hands after glancing at the clock. “It’s time to head to the gym. I know we’re all excited, but I expect everyone to be on their best behavior. Let’s make sure we represent Center High well. Okay?”

A chorus of agreement fills the room, and then I’m leading my kids through the halls and into the gym. The whole school buzzes with murmuring students and grinning staff. A surge of affection rises in my chest for Maddox. This kind of thing isn’t a normal occurrence for these kids, and I love seeing their faces light up with innocent excitement. I know that—at least for the next hour—they’ll all get to leave the struggles and stresses of their home lives at the door and just be kids.

The bleachers are full. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out we are at one hundred percent attendance today. Teachers line the aisles and the walls of the gym. I’m standing close to the double doors Maddox will enter through, and my eyes stray from my students and to those doors every few seconds. I can’t wait to see his face. It’s only been a few days since we’ve been together in person, but it feels like longer.

Feedback screeches through the gym, earning a gasp and boos from the students as Trish White, our principal, takes her place in the middle of the gym. She offers a sheepish smile in lieu of an apology, and motions for everyone to quiet down with her hands.

“Good morning, students. As you all know, we have an exciting assembly planned for you today. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that being here is a privilege, not a right, so I expect you all to be the respectful, exemplary students I know you to be.” Kids nod and murmur their agreement to behave as Trish scans the room, her principal face firmly in place. When she feels like everyone is sufficiently calm, her smile grows.

“How many of you are familiar with our local NHL team, the Rogues?” Hundreds of hands shoot up. “Excellent. Well, we are very lucky today to welcome several members of their team.”

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