Page 114 of The Love You Win

I hiss like a thousand-year-old vampire when Jess throws the curtains back and light floods my room. “Tough titties, Isla. I swear to Chris Hemsworth, we will not let you wallow this time. Not like we did with Alex.”

“Wanna wallow,” I grumble. Ice-cold water splashes on my head and body and I scream like a creature of the night. “What the hell?”

“Get your pretty ass up,” Nev commands. “We know you’re sad and hurting, but babe, you cannot lose a job you love over a man.”

I know she’s right. Trish has been super understanding about everything. Especially since people are still posting derogatory crap about me online. But her grace can only extend so far. And I can’t afford to lose this job.

I’ve already lost too much.

In a moment that feels entirely too familiar, my besties shove me toward the bathroom and a nice hot shower. It takes all of my energy to strip out of my clothes and get under the spray. At least this time they don’t stand in the bathroom with me. But I do leave the door cracked at their request so we can talk.

Ever since the night of Maddox’s game, they’ve been trying to get me to tell them what happened. I haven’t been able to bring myself to speak the words. But that was Monday and this is Friday. Apparently, four solid days of wallowing is their limit, this time. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t be getting out of bed.

The Rogues get home today. A glance at my phone tells me it’s one in the afternoon. Their flight lands at three. Before my relationship imploded for reasons unknown, Maddox had planned to come straight here. I would have seen him in four hours.

Now, I’m not sure if I’ll ever see him again.

Another round of tears drip down my face. They mix with the hot spray of the shower as I rub my aching chest.

Everything hurts.

My head, my chest, my heart.

“Are you going to tell us what happened?” Nev asks. Her tone is gentle, but I know I can’t put them off forever.

“I don’t even know,” I admit. My voice breaks. “He was acting all weird on Friday, didn’t come over like we’d planned, but wouldn’t tell me why, and I didn’t even hear from him until I texted his sister in a panic.” My stomach lurches. Mira. I wonder if she knows. She’s moving here thinking we’ll be friends, and now what? Do I reach out to her? Do I simply go into hiding?

Mira and the guys on the Rogues were starting to feel like good friends. Like they could have become even more, with time. So not only have I lost Maddox, but all of them as well.

Fuck, I hate this. Breakups always sucks, but this one feels particularly brutal since I don’t know what happened. Well, outside of Maddox seeming to move on to another woman.

“He didn’t tell you why he was ending things?” Jess asks.

I choke back a sob. “Only that I fooled him into thinking I was good enough and that he deserved better.”

My best friends hiss like pissed off snakes.

“That rat bastard,” Jess growls. “I’m going to show up at his apartment and break his dick with his own hockey stick.”

“Please don’t.” My forehead falls against the shower wall. The damned thing feels too heavy to hold up. Everything feels too heavy. “I just want to pretend like none of this ever happened.”

“That might be a little hard to do,” Nevaeh mutters.

“What do you mean? Why?”

She sighs. “I don’t know how to say this.”

“With words,” I snipe. “Spit it out.”

“You and Maddox have been the topic of online conversation this week.”

Oh, no. How can we be the topic of conversation when I haven’t been at any games? When I haven’t seen him or spoken to him in almost a week? “What do you mean?”

Nev clears her throat. “Seems Maddox has been starting fights on the ice. Which isn’t a thing he normally does. At least, not to the degree he has been this week. He almost got thrown out of their last game.”

I shouldn’t care after the things he said, but my stupid, traitorous heart lurches. “But why would they talk about me because of that?”

“He’s been tagged in a few pictures by female fans. Nothing inappropriate,” she hurries to add. “But every time another puck bunny posts a photo with him, people bring you up. They’re wondering where you are. Speculating about why you haven’t been seen with him. And why Maddox is taking photos with women sitting on his lap.”

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