Page 104 of The Devil and His Sparrow

She took pleasure in hurting me. She found joy in cutting me down.

Gemma was the last piece connecting the two of us as I carved a path for myself, and with her gone, there wouldn’t be any chances for Mom to get her hits in. Instead of taking this time with her youngest, she was using the time left to get her final punches in, to inflict the most damage she could. She was doing the last thing she could to hurt me the most—denying me my chance to see my sister and say my goodbyes.

Her hatred for me was more than her love for Gemma.

I realized then that this woman didn’t care. Even if she grieved, it wouldn’t be for Gemma. It would be for the loss of the child she’d chosen. It would be for only having the one child she’d always resented left. If one had to die, it should’ve been the one she’d never wanted.

“Do you even love her, Mom?” I demanded. “If you did, you wouldn’t be doing this. You wouldn’t be using this time to follow me out here just to hurt me. You’d be in that room with Gemma and me, because that’s what she’d want.”

“How dare—”

My lips trembled as I stepped away from Zagan to close every inch of space between me and her. I held her gaze with every ounce of conviction inside me as I whispered, “I wish it was me in that bed. I wish I could trade places with her, Mom. But I can’t. So instead of standing here, trying to kill me off with your words, let me see her. You might hate me, but she … she doesn’t. She would want me there.”

Her lip curled as she got in my face to hiss, “Go to fucking Hell, Iyla.”

She turned on her heel and stormed back inside. The crater in my chest opened wide, pulling me into the waiting darkness. My head hung, and sobs choked me until pinpricks of fog darted across my head like thunder clouds rolling in.

“Fuck that,” Zagan growled. He gripped my hand and pulled me to his car. “You’re seeing Gemma, even if we have to wait all goddamn night.”

He sat me in the passenger seat and went around the car to his side.

Everything spiraled inside me. The sight of Gemma lying nearly lifeless in her bed. Mom and our venomous exchange. Tears clouded my vision as her words replayed in my head.

It should be you in that bed.

I looked up at the ceiling of the car, crying helplessly. I didn’t want Gemma to die. She was my world, and she had yet to truly live her life. There had to be something I could do to save her. I couldn’t let this happen.

Zagan wove his fingers with mine and brushed his thumb over my skin in an effort to soothe me. As I stared at his inked hand, I realized who I had next to me. Or rather, what.

I turned in my seat to lock my desperate eyes on his. “You’re a demon. And you’re my bond.”

His brows plunged in confusion. “I know.”

I gripped his hand tightly and brought it close to my chest. My voice broke as I pleaded, “Then help me. We can still save her.”

He slowly shook his head. “We tried. My blood—”

“Me,” I interrupted, my voice rising. “You can switch our places. Give her my life, and let me trade places with her.”

The blood drained from his face, and his pierced lips parted as he fell speechless. My heart raced with the new answer staring right at me, and I tried to make him see in the way I gripped him tightly that I needed this.

His eyes were still wide in shock as he shook his head once. “No.”

Tears rushed out of me anew and spilled down my cheeks. “Please, Zagan. Please! I can’t let her die!”

His jaw worked, and his eyes hardened. “I can’t.”

I glared at him. “You can’t, or you won’t?”

He didn’t answer. He turned away from me and focused his attention outside the window. My head hung in defeat, and I sagged in my seat. This was the only answer I had, but if I couldn’t get Zagan to cooperate, what was another solution? I didn’t have one, and that reality broke me all over again. I was at a loss for a way out of this. I was alone in my search for a way to save my sister.

An hour passed with Zagan practically vibrating with some wound up energy next to me and my own panic and grief tormenting me. Mom was only there for a freaking hour—apparently that was enough time to spend with her seriously ill child.

As soon as her car pulled out of the parking lot, Zagan turned to me. The hard anger that had been simmering in his eyes after my plea vanished, and they softened once more. “Let’s go.”

He held his hand out for me, and the moment I took it, shadows erupted around us. It felt like I was floating away in the cold, dark, endless void with only Zagan’s firm hold on my hand keeping me from getting lost. Slowly, Gemma’s room came into view, until it was like I was looking through a haze of smoke from the corner of her room.

She slept soundless and motionless, alone once more in the dim room. No lights were on, and only the overcast sky offered light through the window. The room seemed to reflect how desolate I felt seeing my baby sister like this.

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