Page 58 of The Regrettable Mistake

I rolled my eyes. I also started to get winded.

“No offense, but how much do you weigh now?” I huffed a little harder as Steve laughed and Steph smacked my shoulder. “Put me down. I can…” There was no doubt she had been about to say she could walk, but I knew better.

“Your contractions are too close together. It’ll take a year to get to the car for the five minute ride to the hospital if you try to walk it.”

“I can take a turn,” Steve insisted.

“Knock your back out,” I told him and that earned me another smack as Steph’s brother scooped her from my arms and into his while I took the keys out and ran a little ahead to get the doors open.

“You weren’t kidding, he huffed as he caught up. Holy shit, I might never walk upright again.”

“You’re never going to when I… ARGGGGG!” Steph screamed through that contraction. “Hurry!”

Eight hours later, I held my beautiful baby girl in my arms as I stared down at my exhausted ex-wife. “You know, that was really dramatic having me and your brother carry you to the car when it took eight hours to actually give birth to her, “I teased.

“Swear to everything I believe in, you and Steve are going to get a swift kick to the balls as soon as I can kick without gross things happening down there.” The nurses and doctor all laughed as I continued to grin happily at the newest addition to our growing family. A plan had already formed in my mind. This one was far different from the last time. This one involved getting Steph to marry me because I was completely in love with her. It also involved knocking her up again as soon as possible.

“Is Denmark coming?”

“Mom is going to bring him in the morning. Visiting hours are almost over and she thought you might need a little extra one-on-one bonding time.”

Steph shook her head. “Nope. I want our boy here to meet his sister as soon as possible.”

“Okay,” I stated but there was no way I would put my daughter down to make a phone call. Steve pulled his cell phone out instead.

“After I make this call, you’re going to stop hogging my niece.”

“Good luck with that,” I mumbled.

“Be nice.” Steph chided. “Bring my daughter over here.”

“You all done delivering the gross shit?” I asked the doctor.

He chuckled again. “It’s safe to come back to this side of the room.” The nurses laughed at my expense, but I didn’t care. I accidentally looked down, thinking there were two babies coming. Nope turned out she had to deliver all the leftover bits. I shuddered at the thought.

“You ready to be Mommy’s girl for a little bit?” Our beautiful baby girl squirmed her head around, as if she was looking for something. “I think you’re ready for Mommy’s booby, huh?

The room filled with chuckles again and a little gagging from behind me. Steve better watch out or I’d bring up his sister breast feeding in great detail all the time. Just because he got her the fifteen steps to the car after I already broke my back doing it, he took up the mantle of hero.

“Here you go, Mom.” I said as I placed our daughter in Steph’s arms.

“Can’t believe I let you hog her for so long.” I could tell by her smile that she had enjoyed every minute of watching me bond with our daughter while the medical staff took care of her.

“She needs a name,” I suggested.

“Trixie Harlow Burton,” Steph called out. Thankfully, Stevie had my back on this one.

“What in the stripper pole?” My former brother-in-law called out.

“We’re not giving our daughter a stripper name.”

Steph screwed her face up at me as she tried to get our daughter to latch on to her breast. It was weird to see, because the normally demure woman didn’t give a hoot who saw her breast. Then again, I guess everyone in the room, except her twin, had seen the downstairs in action, so what was a little nip slip?

“Carolina Harlow Burton.” Steph whispered. I knew, in that moment, she had just been teasing me with the Trixie thing. Unfortunately, the nurse closest to the door yelped, “Oh no!”

“What was that about?”

“I think Myra thought she was doing your wife a favor and went ahead and wrote down that first name for the birth certificate,” Doc stated with a disappointing shake of his head. “Don’t worry, you haven’t signed anything yet. It can be changed.”

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