Page 68 of Ghosted By Texas

“She never helped with my house, not when it was being built, not after.” He sighed. “I don’t know why she lied about that, since I could call her out on it. Jordan never helped pick out anything for my house, never spent a single night there, and not once was she ever allowed inside my bedroom.”

“Why are you telling me that?”

“Because it’s true, but also because she knew exactly why she hadn’t been allowed to do those things. I told her, back when I was building the house, that it was for my future family and the only woman who would ever sleep over, besides my mom or sisters, was going to be the woman who would one day be my wife.”

“You think that’s why she showed up that night? She knew you brought me home somehow?”

He shrugged. “I don’t want to speculate on what was going through her mind. I want you to understand what was going through mine.” He took a sip of his drink before continuing.

“Jordan told me I couldn’t tell you about the baby. She also said that if you were involved with me in any way, she would run.”

“That’s a horribly manipulative thing for her to have done, so why in the hell did I see you kissing her only days later, like she hadn’t done anything wrong?”

He shook his head. “I was trying to force it. I chose the baby, not her. You need to understand that. I chose my child not another woman. The kissing, that was me trying to forget you. Trying to force something with Jordan, that was never there before, for the sake of my kid. I knew she would be difficult if I didn’t at least try, and I couldn’t…” He shook his head as if talking about all of this was too hard.

“If it had been her, I wouldn’t have been as happy to go to doctor visits, but it still would have been amazing to see my child grow and move and find out the sex. Please, understand, I didn’t want to miss out on that because I pissed Jordan off.”

“What kills me is that you knew on some level that she was that manipulative, that you would have to placate her through childbirth, but you still kept going there with her over the years. What would you have done if she had really been pregnant and I was, too, Austin? Would you have continued to placate her and ignored me and our child for hers?”

“No. You already know the answer to that because you found out you were pregnant before the truth came out about her. I asked you to marry me right away, without even thinking about it, because that was the natural response for me. I never did that with her. If I had to give anyone up at that point, Becs, it would never have been you and our baby.”

“It’s hard to believe that, all things considered.”

“I know it is. That’s on me, and the only way to change your mind about it is to keep proving to you that I’ll be right here by your side for everything.”

“We’ll see,” I conceded.

By the time we finished our meals and got back to my place, it was almost dinner time. Austin walked me up to the front door, and I kept it open for him once I walked through. “Why don’t you come in for a minute, and I’ll download the flash drive onto my laptop, then you can take the copy Dr. Danvers gave me?”

“Thank you, I’d like that.”

We sat there in semi-awkward silence as the video of our ultrasound downloaded and about the time it finished, Austin finally spoke up again.

“Can we watch it together one more time before I go?”

“Yeah, we can do that,” I responded softly as I pulled the video up and pushed play. We watched together as Dr. Danver’s cursor moved all over the screen taking her measurements. Austin reached up to trace our son’s fingers that stuck straight up in front of his face before closing into a fist again.

“I can’t wait to hold him,” he admitted.

“I know. Every time I think of his tiny little fingers, I can’t wait to feel them wrap around my finger and hold on while I feed him.”

Austin smiled down at me. “Do you plan to breastfeed, or did you want to just use formula and a bottle?”

“Do you have a preference?”

“It’s not my body, sweetheart. Whatever you decide, we’ll work it out. It’ll be difficult on you if we’re splitting custody to pump breastmilk when you don’t have him here. Maybe we should just think about you keeping him here all the time, and me coming here to visit until he’s old enough to be weaned off, if that’s what you want.”

“You would do that?” I asked, awed by the sacrifice he was willing to make.

“I’d be an asshole if I wouldn’t consider it. You would have to agree to me being in your space more often though, so it’s not just me who would have to be accommodating.”

“Yeah, I get that.” My heart thudded away in my chest at the prospect of having both my baby and Austin here, almost like we were a family. The dream I’d once had of just that came to mind and wrapped me up in its warm embrace. No, wait. That was a real body wrapping around me.

“What are you doing?”

“You looked like you could use a hug,” he told me.

“Dammit,” I muttered against his chest because my willpower to push him away waned as his scent filled my nostrils. The heat of his body warmed me in a way I didn’t want to lose either.

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