Page 66 of Ghosted By Texas

“Yeah. Well, for a while there, you wouldn’t really tell me anything, so I went online and started reading through a pregnancy forum on Reddit. The descriptions of what women go through ranged from subtle things to so descriptive it was a bit disturbing.”

“Hmm,” I hummed out because he may have inadvertently read a few of my posts about my crazy pregnancy brain. People were not always kind on that forum and some of them told me to go get counseling. If they’d been through what I had, they’d probably be a little paranoid about everything, too. Stupid judgey internet judgers.

An alarm on his phone started going off, and Austin easily slid me back a step as he stood from the couch. I wanted so badly to take that step forward and hold onto the man I’d once dreamed of starting a family with. My body ached with the need to feel his arms wrap around me and hold me close. That was too much though. It would break something inside me. Maybe it was just the wall I put up between us, maybe it would be whatever was left of my heart. I didn’t know and wasn’t willing to take the chance that it would do permanent damage to get close to the man again.

I took a step back, and then another, until we were standing a few paces apart and no longer in touching distance. “That was the alarm to leave, since you said you wanted to be there a little early.”

I nodded and turned to go grab my purse.

“Thank you, for letting me have that,” he muttered as he moved to the door and held it open for me. There weren’t words for what I wanted to say to him, and ‘You’re welcome,’ seemed a stupid thing to say, so I just nodded instead and walked out to where he’d parked his truck.

~*~

“Are you ready to see your baby?” Dr. Danvers asked us. We both nodded our heads so aggressively that the woman laughed at us. “We seem rather eager today. I supposed you want to learn the sex of the baby?”

“Yes, please,” I requested.

“Let’s see if the little one will cooperate.” She squeezed the gel on my already exposed belly and then pulled a different wand out than she’d used last time, thankfully. It went on top of my belly, like the doppler heartbeat thing, rather than the original ultrasound that went inside me.

“Holy shit!” Austin’s exclamation puffed out as he sat closer, almost leaning across my body to see the image on the screen. “I can see a hand and fingers,” he said. “Wait, is the baby waving at us?”

I concentrated on what he was seeing and damn if that didn’t look like what was happening.

“Sure is,” Dr. Danvers confirmed. “Your little one is just learning how to open and close that fist.”

“Oh my God! That’s so adorable. I didn’t realize they could do that.”

“Sure can.” She clicked and measured and moved the wand around my belly and clicked some more. “Give me one more moment to get these measurements in, and we’ll get down to the good stuff. Do either of you have a preference?”

“Healthy,” Austin stated without a moment’s hesitation.

“That’s what I like to hear!” Dr. Danvers nearly shouted with her enthusiasm. “What about you?” She asked, addressing me since I hadn’t answered.

“Well, I’ll feel like a copycat if I say healthy, too. Honestly, I can picture either a boy or a girl. It doesn’t matter, because they’ll be loved no matter what.”

“You two are perfect. I wish all my parents-to-be were like you.” She moved the wand around one more time and grinned. “All right, your little one is not shy. Last chance to place your bets,” she teased. Austin and I were waiting, though I thought I saw the tell-tale sign of… “That’s your son’s penis,” she pointed out.

“We’re having a boy?” I asked at the same time Austin said, “That’s our son!”

“Technically, it’s his penis and we should be ashamed of ogling it to appease our curiosity,” I teased to break the tension in the room. The awe in his voice as he’d seen his son for the first time made me want to kiss him in celebration and I couldn’t do that. Dr. Danvers laughed at the joke I’d made to cover for what I really wanted to do.

“I don’t think he’ll mind this time,” she winked as Austin grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed it tight.

When I glanced up, it was to see the man had tears flowing freely down his face and he didn’t seem to care one bit that the doctor or I might catch him in his moment of elation. His tears spurred on my own. We were having a little boy who would one day look just like his father. I had very little doubt of that, considering all the Texas-themed Mercer brothers favored one another, even if Dallas did have a paler complexion than the other two with his blond hair and light eyes that he got from his mother’s side.

“I’ll have a little video you can take with you on a flash drive as well as the usual ultrasound pictures when we’re done here,” Dr. Danvers assured us.

I think the rest of the visit was a wash because I don’t remember a thing after finding out we were having a boy. Once we got to Austin’s car, he handed me my latest appointment card, and I realized I’d zoned out through the whole process of making a new appointment.

“Thank you,” I offered as I took the card.

“I hope the time works for you. I made it late in the day because I wasn’t sure if you were still in school then or not. She made it for May 29th.”

“That’s perfect. We’re still in school until the first week of June.”

Austin nodded then reached over and grabbed hold of my hand. “Thank you for letting me be here for this. I can’t imagine not being able to see that in person. It was amazing. He was moving around inside you and waving his hand at us, Becs. Our boy is already doing things on his own and we can only guess what he’s normally doing outside of that small little glimpse we got.”

His amazement leaked over into my own excitement. “I know. I wish it was safe to be hooked up to something like that for the whole pregnancy, or at least to be able to check in once or twice a day and see what’s going on.”

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