Page 52 of Ghosted By Texas

“Okay, thank you so much.”

“Oh, and I printed these pictures out for you,” she offered me a stack of thin, glossy paper that had black and white images on them along with the printed information that included my name, due date, and a bunch of jargon the machine spit out that I didn’t understand how to interpret. The big picture on each one was the blob, and thanks to seeing it live, I now knew exactly where my baby’s beating heart was situated.

“Thank you,” I whispered as the doctor left the room.

“We should probably get you dressed before you get hypothermia,” Clea suggested. I handed my photos over to her for safe keeping while I hopped behind the privacy screen and did just that.

After we got back to my apartment, Clea had to run back to work, but wanted to take lunch to Houston on her way. I told her lunch wasn’t really something my stomach could handle, but that I would buy her dinner sometime later in the week instead. She understood. I stopped her just before she left and handed over one of the ultrasound images.

“Can you make sure Houston gives that to him?”

“You know I will.” She offered a quick smile as she tucked the image into her purse and turned to leave.

Worry had set in on the ride home about what the hell I would do if I was home alone and went into labor. Was I supposed to drive myself to the hospital? In all the movies I’d ever seen, someone else is always there to drive the pregnant woman and grab her bag for her. What about the women who didn’t have a partner or other family members to do those things?

So, I sat there alone staring at the ultrasound photos. I was amazed by them but petrified at the same time. My imagination went wild with all sorts of crazy scenarios. What if I was teaching class and went into labor and one of the bugger-picking little kindergarteners had to deliver my baby because no one came when I called out for help? Yes, I realized they were completely ridiculous, wild thoughts. That didn’t keep me from worrying over things that were to come in my very near future.

~*~

A few days after my ultrasound, someone knocked on my door as I sat there on my couch, startled and wondering who in the hell it could be. Clea was working late, so I knew it wasn’t her and therein ended the list of people who would randomly show up at my apartment.

“I know that you’re home,” a deep voice called through the door. My hand reached out, almost involuntarily, for the handle to let him in, and then stopped in mid-air. I couldn’t deal with seeing Austin when I was still trying to come to grips with how to be a single mother, or a single pregnant woman even. Throwing him in the mix in the midst of that was like adding insult to injury.

“Becs,” he called out to me. “I need you to hear me out on some things. I never meant to hurt you. Actually, that’s a lie. I purposely set out to hurt you by not making contact and explaining, but only so the truth wouldn’t do a worse job.”

Well fuck you, too buddy! I didn’t say it out loud, but I wanted to.

“That night, probably after you left, Jordan told me why she was really there. Pregnant, Becs. She told me she was pregnant, and I knew in that moment that no matter what, I’d lost you. There was no coming back from that. Jordan would throw down an ultimatum, and she did. She threatened to leave if I stayed with you. As in, take the baby and haul ass.”

He paused, as if waiting to let that sink in.

“I don’t even know if you’re listening, but you need to know all this and you won’t answer my texts or calls.”

Now, you know how that feels, asshole.

Again, I didn’t bother to speak the thought aloud, but he must have imagined that was what I’d say.

“I guess it’s deserved, since that’s what I put you through. I’m so fucking sorry, Becs. The choice was between you and a child I thought I was having. My parents always drilled in our heads that children come first, no matter what. When she told me she was pregnant, I felt my whole world fall apart because there was no way you’d stay with me through having to coparent with Jordan. Plus, there was no way Jordan would allow that to happen.”

I’d wanted to give him basically the same ultimatum. Except, I hadn’t. I’d played with the idea, even voiced it briefly, and then lost my shit as I explained just how much his whore of a girlfriend would be taking from me. If he was in our child’s life, then she would be too. That was before I knew about her being pregnant. It was going to gut me, but something I’d have to deal with for my baby. My child would have a sibling around the same age. If he hadn’t been lying to me about the last time they slept together, then she had to be at least a month or two further along than I was.

“I never asked her to marry me,” he admitted.

What the fuck?

“I swear to you, and you can ask my family or anyone else you want, I didn’t intend to marry her just because she was pregnant. Jordan asked me to at least try to make things work with her, so our child could grow up with an intact family the way both of us had. That’s what you saw at the movies that night. That was the first time I’d been out of the house, and she basically had to threaten me to make it happen.”

I so did not believe that. I’d seen them with my own two eyes, and while I hadn’t seen who initiated that first kiss, I knew for sure who went in for the second one. It hadn’t been Jordan forcing Austin to put his lips on hers.

“The crazy thing is that none of it fucking mattered. She lied.”

Imagine that. The lying liar lied.

I rolled my eyes at him through the door, even though he couldn’t see me, because he’d been warned time and again that she was lying and manipulating him to keep him around until he finally relented and married her.

“She lied about being pregnant, to keep me from kicking her out of my house that night and to force my hand where you were concerned.” Oh shit! The way his voice broke tugged at my heartstrings, but I couldn’t afford to offer him my empathy.

“I guess she did it, because she knew it was the only way I’d throw you out of my life. The ridiculous thing is, Houston had her investigated because he remembered hearing something Jordan’s mom said years ago. That’s how we found out that she can’t even get pregnant because she had a hysterectomy years ago. I didn’t know. She never told me that it was that bad before and then…”

---