Page 35 of Ghosted By Texas

“No, Dallas was a last-minute addition because he somehow managed to save up an ungodly amount of money over the years.”

“As weird as it is to say this, I can kind of see that. I think your brother hides a lot of who he is behind the immature bullshit he pulls.”

“Houston and I are beginning to think that as well. Especially after Dallas offered us the capital that we needed to get the Tippler’s Lounge up and running. He only wanted to be a silent partner until we paid him back. Truthfully, he didn’t even want us to pay him back, said it was a gift, but we both refused.”

“I hear male pride is a bitch that way.”

“While I can’t speak for Houston, taking a handout to get started in life didn’t feel right.”

“I bet it felt worse knowing it came from your younger brother who everyone thinks is a royal screwup.”

Austin laughed. “I’m not saying that’s true…”

“But you’re also not saying it isn’t,” I finished for him as we both had a good chuckle at his expense. “Everyone is entitled to their secrets.”

Austin grew serious then and reached over to take hold of my hand. “I don’t want there to be secrets between us.”

“There isn’t an ‘us’ here.”

“I think we both want there to be. I know you have your reasons for shying away from anything to do with me. I didn’t handle things the right way before. We both know that. I never successfully dated anyone before you came along.”

“You didn’t successfully date me either, just to be clear.”

“No, I didn’t. Part of that was because I hadn’t been invested with anyone else before and didn’t learn those lessons with them first. I know that sounds ridiculous, and really what I’m trying to say is that I’ve grown and learned a few things since then.”

I wasn’t sure how to take what he was trying to explain. Did he learn lessons because of what went wrong between us before, or because he tried seriously dating other women in the past six years? That was something I didn’t even want to think about.

“I’d really love it if we could try dating again. We can start off slow, keep the lines of communication open, and see where things go. I’m not married, dating anyone, and I don’t have a current fuck buddy either.”

“I don’t have any of this in my life either.” I waited until our eyes met before I added the last bit, because it was important. “I also don’t have a jealous, opposite sex best friend, and former fuck buddy, who might cause problems.”

“While I don’t really want to bring her into our lunch, I’ll say this much, she knows. I explained that we were going to give it a real try this time if I could convince you to do it. She agreed to back off and-”

“This sounds a lot like what I heard before,” I interrupted to say, because honestly, there was no point in listening to the same song and dance that didn’t turn out the last time.

Austin sat quietly staring at me across the table as the waiter came to deliver our food. My body was hungry while my mind, or maybe it was my heart, felt differently. I stared down at the loaded bacon and cheesy potato soup that I’d ordered. It was one of my favorite comfort foods, so when I saw it on the menu, I knew that’s what I’d order. It smelled divine.

“Becs, I never want to go through the loss of you again, and don’t want to put you through that either. I was hoping that transparency, and understanding what happened before, would be the steppingstones to get us started on a more solid footing than we had last go round.”

“Austin.” I dragged his name out with the same reluctance as I felt toward trying to date him again. Agreeing to do so was dangerous. My heart couldn’t take another rejection. It also couldn’t handle being the least important person in someone’s life again. My parents had one another, Clea had Houston now. I didn’t begrudge my best friend that because I never felt discarded when she was with Jeff, but then again, she never seemed as happy with Jeff as the few times I’d seen her with Houston.

I knew it from the start that those two were perfect for one another. While I felt put on the back burner for the time being, I knew eventually they’re relationship would settle into a more comfortable position where we’d always remain best friends and extremely important to each other. Houston needed to be her priority, and that was as it should be. I wasn’t certain that I’d get the same experience from dating his brother. Sadly, history already taught me that lesson and it was hard to overlook the probability of a repeat performance.

“I’m only asking for a trial period, until you feel you can trust me.”

“Fine.”

“But?”

I shook my head. “No, there’s no stipulations this time. You already know where I stand on everything, that never changed for me.”

“I was the idiot who didn’t listen the first time around.”

I shrugged because what could I say? It was true. He knew exactly what he had to do the first time, well technically the second, that we dated, and he failed. Whether six years apart would make a difference this time, I wasn’t sure, but we would see. Either my heart would make it through intact or it wouldn’t. Life was short and getting shorter though, and I didn’t want to keep denying myself the potential for happiness with someone I felt an immense, almost otherworldly connection with.

“Lunch is on me,” he commented as he tipped his fork in the direction of my steamy soup bowl. “You didn’t have to do that soup and salad thing that women do.”

I laughed at his incorrect assumption. “This is part of the ‘getting to know me’ thing you didn’t do before. Loaded potato soup, potato leek soup, pretty much any kind of hot gooey potatoey goodness on a cold day is one of my favorite things. It’s my comfort food. It’s also very rich, so there’s no way I’ll be able to eat anything else when I’m done with this bowl. No matter how much I’ll crave a second.”

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