Page 56 of Hush Money

“No,” I say, startled to discover at this late date that I have one. “What?”

“It’s making me feel like the whole rest of the world could fall off a cliff and I’ll be just fine.” He pauses. “As long as I can come home and stare at your eyes for a minute or two at the end of the day.”

He says the most beautiful things to me. I’ll never get over it. “You make my heart hurt sometimes.”

“You make mine sing.”

I pull him closer, and we linger there for another minute or two, wrapped up in each other and the moment, until my knees begin to protest, forcing me to reluctantly disengage and stand. He passes me a napkin, and I use it to wipe between my legs before finding my panties.

“Horseback riding day after tomorrow? Roman and I’ve got more meetings in the morning,” he says behind me as I slip them on.

I’d meant to tell him a bit later and not spring it on him like this, but now I have no choice. “Sorry, I can’t. I meant to tell you. I’m taking the subway into the city. I’ve got my orientation at the hospital. And then I’m having lunch with one of my new roommates. I’m really excited to meet her.”

He was in the middle of wiping himself off and redoing his pants. But now he stiffens slightly. And is he avoiding eye contact as he keeps his face lowered and takes forever to respond? “I see.”

I can’t fight the feeling that I’ve ruined the whole vibe. I know he’s not wild about my going into Manhattan by myself on the subway. He’s probably much less thrilled about it with Ravenna out there in the wild and the paparazzi lurking outside the gates. But he knows I plan to retain my independence, so he’ll get over it. He’ll have to. And I desperately want the rest of our evening to be fun, so I keep my tone upbeat as I try to make it up to him. “What about the day after that? Could that work?”

I fully expect him to lodge a protest of some sort. Or maybe offer me the helicopter to get to the Starbucks where I plan to meet my new roommate. But he surprises me. “Sounds good,” he says easily.

The quick acquiescence seems too good to be true, but I’ll take it if I can get it. “Really?” I say, brightening.

“Really. Let’s eat,” he says, and if his responsive smile seems a little strained, it’s easy enough for me to pretend I don’t notice.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

TAMSYN

Early the following evening, I arrive back at the main house after a walk around the grounds to discover a surprise waiting for me in the form of Maddie standing at the open front door. With a baby.

“Oh my God,” I cry, swooping in and losing all good sense the way I normally do when a baby enters the picture. Especially one like this, a little three-month-old whose chubby cheeks and thighs, sweet toes, downy brown hair and bright brown eyes make me want to eat them. I tickle the back of the baby’s knee, earning a delightful squeal and giggle. “Who is this? Who is this?”

“This is Jordan,” Maddie says with a new mother’s pride before giving him a fat kiss. More squirming and giggling ensue. “We’re just back from his checkup.”

“Did you get a checkup, Jordan? Were you a good boy for the doctor? Yes, you were?—”

“What’s all this?” Lucien barks behind us. “Maddie, I told you to find Tamsyn for me.”

I frown at him over my shoulder, then return to the baby, who’s now wearing a vague expression of infant concern. “Ignore the grouchy man, Jordan. I won’t let him hurt you. No, I won’t.”

“I did find Tamsyn for you, Lucien. Here she is.” One of Maddie’s brows is up, which doesn’t seem like a good sign for Lucien, who scowls accordingly. “Tamsyn, Lucien wants you to join him in his study. He has a guest.”

“Thank you for that tardy but helpful communique, Maddie.” Lucien comes over and gives Jordan a reassuring pat on the back. He starts to turn away, then pauses to stroke the baby’s head with surprising tenderness. Jordan gives him a gummy smile in return.

Seeing them together sends a powerful jolt of baby fever. I clear my throat and turn away, determined not to feel it, just as Lucien gives me a kiss on the cheek.

“Tamsyn, there’s an old friend I’d like you to meet,” he says.

“Sounds good,” I say, recovering enough for a final knee tickle for the baby, who grins again. “Bye, Jordan. Bye!”

A silence descends as we set off. It’s not quite awkward, but it sure isn’t normal, either.

“I didn’t know you, ah, like kids,” Lucien says as he steers me toward the study.

“I love kids,” I say, consumed by my post-baby-encounter glow. “I used to babysit all the little neighborhood kids. I made enough the summer I turned thirteen to buy my first phone.”

He dimples, pulling me in for another kiss. “That’s my girl.”

“So who am I meeting?”

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