Page 50 of Hush Money

That shuts me up because he’s probably right. As twisted up as I was about her back then? The way she gaslit me? The way I wanted to believe in my wife yet couldn’t fight the growing feeling that I wasn’t enough for her? If Roman had said one word to me about this, I probably would have accused him of forcing himself on Ravenna and then scraped the floor with his face.

“You’re right,” I say gruffly, easing down. “I don’t blame you.”

“Thank God.” He seems to choose his next words carefully. “What’s up with this new woman you mentioned? That’s part of why I’m here. You’ve never brought anyone to the house since Ravenna ‘died.’”

It takes everything I’ve got to wrestle my would-be smile into submission. That’s what even the merest mention of Tamsyn does to me. “I told you. I met someone.”

He cocks his head and studies me as though he’s caught me cruising for engagement rings at Harry Winston. “You mean you’re getting to know someone?”

I’m so far beyond that that I don’t even bother trying to hide it. “I mean I found someone.” I’ve got the smile mostly under wraps, but I’m sure I can’t stop some of my overwhelming joy from seeping through. Especially when I think about Tamsyn’s sweetness and light. Her smile. Her humor and loyalty. The night we just spent together. I love you too, Lucien. Those exact words came out of her mouth. Since she’s not the type of woman to lie about something like that, that makes me the luckiest SOB in the world. Batshit-crazy wife notwithstanding. “Her name is Tamsyn.”

Roman eyes me with increasing concern. “Isn’t this a little fast?”

I remember that look. It’s the exact look he gave me back when I announced that Ravenna and I were engaged. Our courtship was a little too whirlwind for him, even though she and I had moved in the same boarding school and college circles for years. I hated the look then and I hate it worse now. Especially because I know there are no parallels between the way I felt about Ravenna and the way I feel about Tamsyn.

“Don’t worry about it,” I tell him.

Aggrieved sigh from Roman. “I’m just going to plow ahead and say this, okay? You can kick my ass after if you want to.”

“Roman…”

“You don’t have whatever part of the brain it is that moderates things, Lucien. Not when it comes to relationships. It’s full steam ahead.”

He’s not wrong. Have I had extreme reactions to these two very different women? Yeah. But instead of being addicted to Ravenna’s cat-and-mouse routine and the push-pull drama of a love–hate relationship where we both wanted to conquer each other, this time I’m addicted to Tamsyn’s steady warmth and quiet strength. Her humor and moral compass. Her goodness.

“Maybe take it slower this time,” Roman says. “Be smart.”

Well, there it is. Nothing I haven’t told myself. A million times. But I’m not in control here. Smart has nothing to do with it. Like I told Tamsyn, this thing already is what it is. End of story. “It’s good advice. But this train is already rolling down the tracks.”

“Yeah, but you get obsessive, Lucien,” he says, frustration making him louder. “It’s not healthy.”

“This conversation is over,” I say, starting to heat up. I know he only wants the best for me, but I’m a grown man. I don’t need all this judgment and armchair psychology. “You don’t know one fucking thing about Tamsyn and me?—”

“Hate to interrupt,” comes Tamsyn’s voice from the doorway, startling us both. “But this seems like a good time for me to introduce myself.”

Oh, shit.

Roman and I quickly stand and exchange guilty sidelong looks. Then I hurry out from behind the desk and take Tamsyn’s hand to pull her all the way into the room. Rarely have I been simultaneously so thrilled and dismayed to see someone. She looks great as always, freshly showered with her damp hair falling in waves around her face and her usual minimal makeup in place. She’s wearing a pale blue linen dress with sandals today. She’s summer sunshine in human form, and I love her so fucking much I can’t breathe with it. I love that I woke up with her fragrant body pressed up against mine. I love that she has the run of the house now that Ravenna’s gone. I love the idea of showing her everything that Ackerley and I have to offer and convincing her to stay with us. We can eat dinner together later. Snuggle up on the sofa and watch a movie. Go to bed together and do it all again tomorrow. There’s nothing stopping us now that we know we love each other—not even Ravenna; she can try but she won’t succeed for long—and I love that most of all.

“Hi,” I say, kissing her on the cheek. As always, my voice softens when I speak to her. Nothing I can do about that. “Did you hear all that?”

“I heard enough,” she says, her wry smile swinging between me and Roman.

“Ignore Roman and his opinions.” I shoot him a glare. “He’s an idiot. That’s the only thing you’ll ever need to know about him.”

“An idiot,” she says, extending a hand to Roman. “Noted. I’m Tamsyn Scott.”

Roman looks a little dazzled as he shakes her hand. My mood sours, especially given what he just told me about Ravenna coming on to him. I may not know much, but I know that I will tear this entire house down from the roof to the studs if I catch any whiff of a flirtation between Roman and Tamsyn. To make my point, I edge closer to her, wrapping my arm around her waist while also giving Roman the most targeted death stare.

His gaze flickers to me, and his sudden gleam of amusement tells me he gets it. Which is good. Unbeknownst to him, I’ve just communed his capital punishment. On the other hand, he now knows exactly how much she means to me, which means he’s come face to face with my greatest vulnerability. But, like I keep saying, it is what it is.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tamsyn Scott,” he says. “I’ll be sticking around for a few days. I look forward to getting to know you better.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

TAMSYN

Lucien pokes his head into the library sometime after nine that evening. He and Roman spent most of the day holed up in Lucien’s study doing their corporate titan routine. Meanwhile, I busied myself with a long walk around the grounds followed by a leisurely exploration of his vast book collection and a lovely catnap. Oh, and I filled out some online paperwork for my new job as an oncology nurse back in the city. It turns out that a drama-free day at Ackerley is a pleasant experience. The kind of thing I could get used to in a hurry.

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