Page 86 of Kingdom of Crowns and Daggers

“She’s right. I share a room with Elle, and she was vomiting her guts up all morning,” the maid comments, not even looking at my face to see if she knows me or not, just grabbing her tray and scurrying out of the room.

I hadn’t planned for that little interaction, but it came at the perfect time. Not bothering to say anything further, I patiently wait for the cook to make up his mind.

“Fine,” he grumbles, heading back over to a bubbling pot, but not before pointing a wooden spoon at me in warning. “Do not mess this up.”

Nodding, I take the tray and slip through the servants door and into the hall where everyone is gathered before anyone else tries to stop me. I have been unfortunate enough to attend court many times now, and I have been paying attention to where the servants stand. Thanks to this, I know exactly where I need to be, and I silently take up my position by the throne on Queen Mother’s left side.

There is a little part of me that is anxious the Queen Mother might recognise me, but she doesn’t even glance in my direction, and after an hour passes, that part of me relaxes, embracing my disguise fully.

Court is boring.

Nothing Queen Mother or any of the nobility say is of any use. At first, I got excited any time Oakenstram was mentioned, but it is all the same gossip repeated over and over.

I’m not quite sure what has gotten into me today, but my mind wanders into my memories once more. Perhaps admitting my heritage to Orion and Joha unlocked that part of me. I cannot decide if that is a good thing or not.

A memory materialises in front of my very eyes—the nobility coming to greet my parents and marvel over me, and the jokes my father would tell me when we were sitting at our table, just the three of us. My fondest part of the memory, though, is when the three of us danced together. None of the other children did, but my mother and father pulled me up and onto the ballroom floor.

My mind and body are split. While I am aware of what’s going on around me and can react in a second, mindlessly scanning for words that might incriminate Queen Mother, my memories fill my mind. For the first time in years, I feel like crying over the loss of my parents. Of course, I would never do that now, especially not here.

Instead, I allow myself to cherish the memory of five-year-old Alyx enjoying herself before her world shattered and her life was changed forever.

Chapter

Forty-Seven

JOHA

Iwish I could say I know exactly what is going on in my court, but I would be wrong. Alyx has disappeared, Orion looks troubled, and there are more deaths. The bodies are practically piling up around me, and I have no idea who is friend or foe. I am living with a target on my back, and the worst part is, I do not know who I can trust.

It leaves me exhausted, and that night, I find myself sneaking into Alyx’s rooms again, needing her reassurance. She is the only one who understands. We might have different opinions on how she handles things, but I know she’s doing everything to keep me alive and safe. Plus, there is something almost comforting about her presence, which is ironic since she is an assassin.

She’s lying on her bed and doesn’t even look over as I enter. Heading her way, I gracefully flop down next to her, my eyes on the ceiling. “Where have you been all day?” I ask. The last time I saw her, she kissed me, changing my entire world, and then she protected me from Crux and I left. I feel confused and slightly irate. I thought we had something special, I thought there was a bond between us, but maybe I am just overthinking things.

There is no way a person like Alyx could want a person like me, not to mention all the troubles that come along with my station.

Her head turns, her eyes tired and sad. That one look breaks my heart, and I want to vow to tear down the entire kingdom to see her smile again. “What happened? Tell me who upset you and I will have their heads.”

Her small, crooked smirk makes my heart pound. “Would you?”

“I am king. I might not always act like it, but to defend you, yes, I would have their heads,” I admit shamelessly. No, Alyx might not need or want me the way I want her, but it doesn’t matter. I am in too deep to care, especially when she reaches for my hand. That one innocent touch consumes my entire being.

“Sweet, but I can take my own heads if I need to.” Sighing, she moves closer, looking back to the ceiling. “I was with Crux. We had a lead.”

“Oakenstram?” I ask, needing to know.

“Yes,” she says without a hint of reproach or sadness. Taking a life is easy for her, and it always surprises me, but it shouldn’t. When her head turns, however, her eyes betray her cool words. They look haunted. “He had to die. The lord was working with her to kill you. I let his family live, and hopefully, they will choose better in the future, but it was one of the single hardest deaths I have ever faced. I knew him, Joha, from my past. I knew the lord. He was kind to me, but I did what I had to.”

Swallowing hard, I search her eyes, seeing the truth there.

How could I ever doubt her feelings for me? This might have started as a bargain, but Alyx has made it clear she would kill and die for me. We both might not be willing to admit why, but I was wrong. This thing between us is real, and despite our differences, I want it to work.

I want Alyx to be my queen, but I will settle for anything as long as it keeps her at my side.

“I am sorry,” I tell her, squeezing her hand. “Thank you for protecting me.”

She just hums, her eyes roving over my face as if searching for something. I feel almost shy under her gaze before the rest of her words click into place.

“Wait . . . her?” I ask. “You have found out who is behind it?”

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