“Why?” I cut him off, demanding the answer. Releasing the doorframe, I gesture wide to show my confusion. “What’s the sudden rush?”
His face flushes with anger, an expression I don’t see often. “Because the attempts on my life are getting more and more frequent. Because if I have to pretend to be an airhead for one day longer, I might just do Queen Mother a favour and throw myself off the Imperial Mountains!”
I’m shocked by the outburst, and I realise that it’s not anger I see on his face, but desperation. I’ve never seen him like this before, and I don’t know how to react. He’s been struggling for a while, but he’s so strong that I never realised that it had gotten so bad for him.
I am a failure.
I’m supposed to be his best friend, and I missed how much this has been weighing on him.
“Joha . . .”
Realising what he just admitted, he seems to deflate before my eyes, releasing a long breath. He scrubs his hands over his face and huffs out a sigh. “Don’t worry. I’m not really going to do it. I just . . . Something has to change, Orion.”
The vulnerability in his voice breaks something within me. He’s sharing this with me because he trusts me, and I need to make sure I don’t break that trust by messing this up. Rubbing a hand over the stubble of my shaved head, I feel the anger drain from me, replaced by reluctant acceptance.
Joha is no fool, despite what everyone else thinks. I know his mind works ten times faster than most. He will have thought this through, so if he thinks this can work . . .
“You really think she’s the person to do it?”
Joha meets my eyes, his gaze steady and sure. “Yes.”
“Fine.” I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this. It seems that it’s going to happen either way, so I might as well help him so he doesn’t get himself killed. “Tell me everything about this plan of yours, and I mean everything.”
His eyes light up despite my lack of enthusiasm, and he gestures for me to follow him to the large wooden dining table in his adjoining chamber. The walls here are covered in windows that look out to the Imperial Mountains, and half of the table is covered in books and scrolls. Taking the seat at the head of the table, he waits for me to sit next to him and leans forward eagerly.
“I first met her when she saved me from some bandits.”
I groan loudly as he grins. Of course. Bandits, because what else could possibly make this story worse than it already is?
Wincing, I gesture for him to continue, bracing myself for more truths.
It’s going to be an uncomfortable few weeks.
Chapter
Ten
CRUX
Pacing the length of my room, I barely notice the little rat nervously waiting for me to dismiss him, his eyes tracking my movements worriedly. Honestly, I forgot he was even there, so lost in my own frantic thoughts. Each step is agitated and full of pent-up anger and frustration.
This can’t be happening.
What the fuck is going on with Alyx? The things I’ve been hearing recently are so unlike her that the delusional part of my brain tells me the rumours must be about someone else. My Alyx wouldn’t get herself twisted up in this sort of mess. She would talk to me. What I’m hearing, however, it’s like I don’t even know her.
My room is just down the hall from Alyx’s, but I don’t tend to spend much time here. It’s got a few stolen paintings on the wall, but it’s nothing like hers. This room is where I come when I need to get away from everyone else or to grab a few hours of sleep. Sleep doesn’t come easily these days, and when I can, I slip into Alyx’s bed and wrap my arms around her. In those sleepy moments, I can pretend that we’re together like we should be. Occasionally, I think I see longing in her eyes, but it’s gone in a moment. A braver man might bite the bullet and ask her if she feels the same way, but I won’t risk losing her, so I keep my mouth shut.
Everyone knows not to bother me when I’m in my room. I’ve made the consequences very clear, so when this little rat knocked on my door, quivering with fear, I knew something had happened. I run the information he told me through my mind over and over, taking it apart and examining it from each angle, looking for possible reasons Alyx might do this.
“Your . . .” The warble in the rat’s voice grates on me.
Stopping mid-stride, I spin on my heel and pin the weaselly man with a look. “You’re absolutely sure about what you heard?” I stalk towards him, my anger making each step rough and powerful. Stopping in front of the rat, I lower so I can stare directly into his face. “If I find out this isn’t true, I will hunt you down and gut you like a rodent.”
It might be harsh, but I didn’t get to where I am now by being nice to everyone. I may look after my own people, but I won’t tolerate liars.
With impossibly wide eyes, he swallows his fear with an audible gulp and nods so frantically that he’s going to make himself dizzy. “Y-Yes, sir. I heard it myself and followed the stumblers back to the castle. It was the k-king.”
Shit. That was not what I wanted to hear.