Page 143 of Some Like It Hot

Dani and Luna are both in poly relationships, but Dani is the only one who actually has married her guys. So far anyway. And she did marry all three of them, but not at once. She had a commitment ceremony with Nathan and Michael first, and Crew later. And did create some angst amongst them, but they worked through it and are all wildly happy and fully committed now.

Of course, there’s a huge difference between her foursome and mine. Hers intends to stay together.

I shake my head and lower my voice, “Nothing. I mean, we haven’t told them. It’s not real, remember?”

Dani and Luna both turn to look at me. “But it is real,” Luna says. “I mean you really got married, right?”

“Yes.” I don’t know why everyone is so worked up about that. It’s just a piece of paper. No one knows how I really feel about Blake so they shouldn’t be so invested in this. “But Aidan and Simon know that we were faking the engagement. And they’ll know that the marriage is temporary. I don’t expect them to have a reaction at all.”

Dani and Luna exchange glances. I lift my brows. “What?”

“You don’t expect them to have a reaction?” Dani repeats. “Really?”

“You guys, our situation isn’t like yours.”

“But there are feelings,” Dani insists. “I mean, I’ve seen you together. I know you’re having fun, but there are real feelings between you all.”

Danielle always wants everyone to be in love. That’s all that is. I tell my heart, which is now beating a little faster, to calm down. Dani has no idea how the guys feel.

I sit back in my seat and slump down. “Well, there are real feelings between Aidan and Simon.”

Luna leans in closer. “What are you talking about?”

“I overheard them. They’re in love with each other. Which is amazing. They’re both the best. I’m so happy they’re happy.”

Luna narrows her eyes. “You don’t look happy that they’re happy.”

I shake my head. “No. I seriously am. I love-–”

Dani now leans in. “What was that?”

I press my lips together.

“Come on,” Luna says. “Say it.”

“I almost said I love them.”

“See? Love.” Dani seems almost giddy. “You’re all falling in love.”

I shake my head. “Well, that’s the fucked up thing.” I look from one to the other then I focus on the ice. On Blake. “I’m falling in love. I’m in love with all of them. But Aidan and Simon are in love with each other. Simon is going back to London eventually. I assume he and Aidan will work something out. And Blake and I have been faking all of this this whole time. I know they all love the sex. But nobody has said anything about love to me.” And dammit, now I want to cry out of pure frustration.

I’m the one who is always up for a good time. And this has been a very good time. I know I can’t do a long-term relationship with even one guy. There’s no way I can juggle three.

But…I have been. Or rather, I’ve found three that don’t need to be juggled. They roll with all of the messy parts of my life, with my quirks, and they make things easier, better. They also take care of each other so I don’t have to worry about failing one of them. And they definitely take care of me. I’ve never felt this cared about in my entire life. Not only do they accept the ways I can make things more challenging, they find it endearing and strive to make it all easier. On me, not for themselves.

“Have you said anything about love to them?” Dani asks.

I shake my head. “No."

“Well you should. And you should’ve talked about this wedding thing with Aidan and Simon,” Dani says. “Trust me, from experience I can tell you that communication is the most important thing.”

“Seriously,” Luna agrees. “Having a poly relationship has a lot of challenges. I mean, just the sheer amount of testosterone… And not in a good way all the time.” She shoots a glance at Cameron. He pretends to be watching the game and not listening, but when she turns back to me, I see his eye roll.

“But you're in a relationship with three different guys. Individual relationships. But then they’re also having relationships with each other. Obviously, in one case there’s a romantic relationship. But there’s also friendships with each of them and Blake. And then there’s the whole group dynamic. It’s honestly like you’re having four relationships all at once. One with each of them and then the group. And communication and respecting all of that and everyone’s place is the only way it works,” Luna says.

My heart is pounding, my stomach is in knots, and I have officially decided that falling in love sucks.

I frown at both of my dearest girlfriends. “You know what? I don’t need to hear any of this. I believe you, I think you’re doing an amazing job in your relationships, but mine is not the same. This is a temporary thing the four of us are doing. And it’s going to be over soon.”

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