Page 56 of Temptation at Randy's

I’d eaten stuff she’d baked, and I’d listened to her go off for what felt like hours about everything baking when she stayed at my place. She knew her stuff.

“Because I turn into a mess around you?” Arlene’s voice went a few octaves too high. “I mean, into an even bigger mess.”

“Which makes it fun,” I drawled. “I don’t see the problem.”

“Of course you don’t.”

I really didn’t, but it was not worth debating over. No, I just winked at her instead. Then I flagged Zo so that she got me one of the new veggie burgers. I’d been snacking, but I’d promised dinner, and I was still starving. Ben had once joked I ate like a growing teenage boy.

I didn’t care that I did.

“Seriously, though, I know we’re probably going heavier on the D/s aspect of it than we’d first talked about? And I know we have to talk more about thatpart, but I don’t want to lose everything else, or make this thing just about kink.”

I hadn’t realized it was a huge part of what had been plaguing me all day until the words were out of my mouth. There was no hiding away from that truth once it was in the open, though.

“Oh, no, I get that.” Arlene nodded vigorously, her lips turned into a frown. “I know I can be… a lot, but I like all the… fluttery, messy sapphic feels when I’m baking for you or when we’re just talking about a show.”

“Okay.” I let go of the air I’d been holding until it stopped feeling like my chest was constricted by an invisible weight. “Good.”

“It’s not weird that we’re talking about all these things, right?” Arlene wondered. “My roommate said it’s a bit weird, but I don’t think so. And, anyway, he’s in a lowkey shitty relationship, so it’s not like he’s one to give out advice on anything, but…”

“I’ve been told kink dynamics tend to move faster when it comes to discussing this stuff,” I said. “But if you want to slow down, it’s cool.”

I’d figure out a way to cope that didn’t make me look too pathetic. Somehow. It couldn’t be too hard. Right? People got into relationships—or situationships, or whatever they were called now—all the time, and they tended to get messy.

The fact that I couldn’t see why our very new D/s dynamic could get messy was irrelevant. Sure, it could be wishful thinking, but…

Sue me, I liked wishful thinking.

“No, no.” Arlene shook her head for extra emphasis. “Sorry, I guess Dylan got in my head.”

“That’s fine.” It really was. “I haven’t told Ben about last night, but I bet he’s going to say the same.”

Well, he wouldn’t worry about whether or not I was moving too fast—that concept wouldn’t even cross his mind. But he’d annoy me to no end. It was probably the reason I hadn’t kept him as updated as I usually did. He tended to get over invested, and he was loud about it.

I couldn’t always handle his brand of loud, even if it made me a terrible friend. Then again, almost a decade of knowing him later, he still claimed I was his best friend outside of Julian. So, I guessed I wasn’t so terrible?

Who knew.

“I’ve just realized that the Ben knows of my existence, sorry.” So that was why she’d looked a bit frozen this time. “But anyway, yesterday was…”

“A lot.” I nodded. I didn’t want to derail the conversation to talk about Ben, or why she shouldn’t idolize him that much. Well, she didn’t, from what she’d told me. And I could understand the idea of him feeling intimidating. “Not in a bad way, obviously.”

“No, not at all.” Arlene swallowed, which told me I’d done well by clarifying. “It’s super cliché, but I didn’t really think things could feel so intense. Still wrapping my head around it.”

“Yeah. Same.” My intense and her intense were wildly different, but they were still real. I was still going through that mental list of people I could reach out to. “I want to keep exploring it. If it’s okay with you.”

“It’s more than okay with me.” Arlene sounded like she was out of breath, but she didn’t take a second to blurt the words out.

I had to take it as a good sign. She was as much into this as I was. In her head, Arlene probably thought she was much more into it than I was, but that would be a problem for another day.

“I kind of feel like a teenager going through everything all over again,” I admitted.

It didn’t escape me that I was supposed to be the calm one here. Even forgetting that I was now taking on the role of a Domm, Arlene was the anxious sunshine that didn’t know what to do with herself half of the time. I was supposed to be the soothing presence.

I was failing at it today.

“Yeah.” Arlene giggled, seemingly unaware of my inner turmoil over my state of being. “It’s like going through puberty for the third time.”

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