Page 82 of Beyond the Fame

“Didn’t expect what?”

His head pops up, a crazed yet hopeful look taking over. “Come to Hungary with me.”

“What?” I repeat because I can’t think right now.

“You can write there, and we can keep doing this.”

“This, what? What are we doing, Jensen?”

He stands and starts pacing. He doesn’t answer my question.

“Is it just sex? Because if you think I'm going to drop everything and follow you to Hungary for just sex, then you’ve gone mad.”

He stops and stares at me, his hands running over his hair and making it stand on all ends.

“Of course it’s not just sex, Rebecca.”

My heart gallops inside my chest. “You want more?”

“I do but...”

But he’s going to be gone for a year.

I stand and cross my arms. “You’re asking me to come with you, but you haven’t thought this through, have you?”

He shakes his head.

“What happens if I go, and this doesn’t work out and we break up? I’ll have sacrificed my own life, my career, and for what?”

“For me. For us.”

“Jensen, we don’t even know who we are outside of that bedroom.” I point to his room to solidify my point. “We don’t know what our relationship looks like back in the real world. Up until a few days ago, we hated each other—”

“I told you. I never hated you. Did you hate me?”

I bury my head in my hands, buying myself time to form my answer. Because he won’t like what I have to say.

“I hated the way you made me feel. I hated when you offered me a glimpse of a man who cared, then took it away when he got scared. How do I know that won’t happen again?”

“I...”

“A year is a long time. As much as I want to go with you and start a relationship with you... I can’t. I can’t put my life on pause. I'm almost done with this book. They're streamlining the release. It's out in six months. They'll want me to go on tour and I still have book signings scheduled for Tyler’s Team.”

My heart sinks. I wanted so badly to have a life with Jensen, to show him he deserves to be cared for and loved.

“Our lives and our schedules would make it too difficult to be together. We’re too busy. We’re always traveling. We’d never see each other. Even if I move to L.A.—”

“You would move to L.A.?” He steps toward me but stops, as if expecting that I won’t allow him near.

“I was already planning to leave New York. I don’t have anyone there. At least in L.A., I’d have Lana and Ginger.”

My voice cracks and I turn away from him. He comes close enough that I can feel his heat against my back.

I have to get away before I change my mind. I walk back to the kitchen area.

“Where are you going?”

I grab my laptop and head to my room. “I need to finish writing the last few chapters then I'm going to pack. I think it’s best that I change my flight for tomorrow.”

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