Page 45 of Beyond the Fame

“This was the night he secured his football scholarship to Arkansas State University,” Rebecca says quietly.

She smiles sadly and huffs a laugh.

“He could have gone to any college in the U.S., but he wanted to stay here with Lana and be close to family. He didn’t even really want to play football. He wanted to be a social worker. But we weren’t rich, so he kept playing football because it paid his way through college.”

She pauses and I’m not sure if she’s going to keep talking, so I say nothing. Then she clears her throat, glancing at me and frowning.

“Anyway…” She turns to leave.

“Are you okay?” I blurt out.

She stills mid-turn and moves her head back toward me just enough that I can see her profile.

“No. Not at all.”

I should say something. Tell her I'm listening; tell her I think about that day in the bathroom almost every single day.

I don’t because I’m already distracted by her being here. I have to focus on this film. This is a huge opportunity for me. It’s already getting Oscar buzz. I can’t fuck it up by getting involved with Rebecca Taylor.

But mostly, she deserves someone who can offer her the type of relationship where she comes first. Right now, I can’t be that person for her. I can’t offer her the attention she deserves.

My silence speaks volumes.

“I wish you’d stop doing that,” she finally says.

“What?”

“Stop acting like you care, then decide you don’t. It's frustrating and confusing and I can't stand it.”

With that, she leaves me in the hallway.

Chapter 11 – Rebecca

Present Day

After soaking in the jacuzzi, Jensen toweled me off. It was so gentle and intimate that it had me questioning everything I ever thought about this man.

We both put on robes and climbed into his bed, snuggling together. The moment my head hit the pillow; I passed out.

I wake up before him. The rising sun pours into the room because neither of us drew the curtains closed last night. I watch Jensen sleep. His long eyelashes flutter as he dreams, his mouth is open slightly. He's not snoring, but his nose makes a whistling sound when he breathes in and out. It’s adorable. He’s adorable. So very innocent and at peace right now.

The things he’s told me about his past, his experience in Hollywood as a plus-size man, his parents offering him no love, his friendship with Mylan... I can understand now why he’s been so cold to me. Why he refuses to open up.

He's scared. His entire life has been back-to-back let downs—a series of people overlooking him, judging him, not appreciating him.

In a way, we are too similar. I let people judge me and changed everything about myself. My parents used to love me, then took it away as if love was a toy. I let myself date men, powerful men, famous men, just because I thought they could offer me status, something I felt would validate me when no one else did. Except those relationships all failed because I was unhappy. Because they weren’t with the real me.

My phone vibrating on the table next to me brings me back to the present. I check the time and realize I only have about fifteen minutes before I'm due in the bride’s wedding suite for hair and makeup.

I peel myself out of Jensen’s arms, and he stirs.

“Come back.” He mumbles.

“I have to get ready for the wedding. You should wake up and start getting ready too.”

“Mhm.”

I graze my lips over his cheek, and his eyes flutter open. He palms the side of my face.

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