Page 42 of Beyond the Fame

I considered dropping out of the project and risking paying a fine or facing a lawsuit. Though, the other directors stated creative differences and somehow skirted the fines and suits. Plus, my parents are both high-profile entertainment lawyers and would have been able to get me out of both.

But I didn’t drop out.

I didn’t because of her.

Because if I drop out, this movie won’t get made, and I won't do that to Rebecca.

Why do I care so much? Why does she make me care? Is it because she needed someone that day in the bathroom? Because she needed me?

No one except Mylan has ever needed me. Growing up, we’d always be there for each other. Even when our friend Rey got too busy and strayed from our friend group, Mylan and I stayed close all those years. Which is why it hurts so much that he refused my help. Which is why I refuse to let myself care for anyone ever again.

I get to set early to finish prep work and go over my story boards. I have every single shot planned out. There's been a few more script changes over the past couple months, all Rebecca approved (and with no fight, I should add), so I'm going over those changes to make sure we don’t run into any major issues the first day of filming. We’ll only have a few rehearsal takes to get it right. Especially if we want to stay on schedule and within the budget.

By the time I’m done with prep, the cast is arriving to set. I’m standing with Michelle Miller in the high school hallway, where we’ll be shooting the first scene. Michelle is playing Lana Young in Tyler’s Team and she wanted to go over some of her lines with me. Before we start, I glance up. My heart skips about a million beats a minute the moment I spot Mylan walking in, holding hands with the real-life Lana Young.

The fierce woman narrows her hazel eyes at me and scowls. I deserve that after how I behaved at her bar the other night. I walked in looking to start a fight with Mylan. It was childish and unprofessional of me. I went to Lana’s bar, hoping to piss Mylan off enough that he’d punch me and get fired. Then there’d be nothing holding him back from going to longer treatment.

An idiotic move on my part because what if him getting fired triggered him to return to the booze and pills? I would have been responsible for that.

I also hoped I’d piss him off enough that he wouldn’t want to revive our friendship. If he hates me, then I can’t get hurt again. I can’t get hurt if I convince myself I no longer care about him.

But that’s the problem. I do still care about him.

I care enough to worry about this new romance. I saw Lana console him after our confrontation at the bar. She brought him down when his temper reached a point where he definitely would have punched me if she hadn’t stopped him. It was like a switch. Her touch was all he needed.

Mylan has obsessed over women before. His last girlfriend, Olivia, broke his heart because of it. That relationship sent him back into his addiction. What if this woman does the same?

I’m brought back to reality by the sound of Michelle stumbling over her words.

“Oh, um, yeah, well... I just meant you’re all tattooed with red hair now.”

What the hell did Michelle just say to Lana?

“Sure, sweetie,” Lana responds, and I hold back a smirk.

Lana is a plus-size woman. Being a plus-size man in this toxic industry, I bet Michelle made some fat phobic comment. It’s happened to me far too many times from co-stars who make backhanded comments about my body, pinch at my fat rolls, or comment about what I'm eating.

I swallow my anger at the model-turned-actress and acknowledge Lana and Mylan.

“Lana,” I say, my eyes dropping to their embraced hands. “So glad you could join us on set today.”

My words are hesitant, forced. Not because of displeasure, but of concern.

Mylan glares at the side of my face. I refuse to look at him because I know the hatred I’ll see will break me. I wanted this. I want him to hate me. At least, that’s what I thought I wanted.

This is why I don’t do emotions. It’s fucking with my head.

I wave my finger between Mylan and Michelle. “You two should get to hair and makeup and wardrobe. We start filming in an hour.”

Mylan’s brows pinch together as he looks back and forth between me and Lana. He doesn’t want to leave her with me.

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine,” she tells him.

“I’ll take good care of her,” I say, adding fuel to Mylan’s animosity towards me. I don’t miss the disapproving glare Lana gives me.

Mylan nods and kisses Lana on the forehead before stalking down the hall with Michelle Miller following.

“I appreciate you helping him,” I say the moment they round the corner. “And I’m sorry about my behavior at the bar.”

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