Page 34 of My Guardian Gryphon

“Gretchen is the one my heart and soul hungers for. You can’t force this on her.”

His words were a balm to my bloody soul. He wanted me. Just me.

The arguing continued, their voices booming through the room, each trying to speak louder than the last. Alek hated that I was going to be forced into the joinings, but it was just for a baby. Not for love. It was just to speed up the process of fulfilling the prophecy. Wouldn’t it be worth it? I could manage, right? Bile rose in my throat at the thought of any other man touching my body, being inside me. My stomach clenched and my hands slicked.

Miles and Diana joined the argument on my behalf, but Rose continued to reply that it was all my choice. Every detail, nothing was being forced. She’d simply given me the parameters for which I could ultimately have what I wanted.

Alek.

At the same time, I’d also heard what she said about Alek’s Gryphon. That we could have children, but wouldn’t be allowed to pursue that dream, and that even if somehow we had a child after the prophecy was fulfilled, I would still be human, with a human lifespan.

I don’t care. He was worth the sacrifice. I would spend every waking hour of my entire life with him…if he would still want me after.

“Nothing any of us say means anything unless Gretchen wants this to happen.” Diana’s voice cut through the chaos, effectively silencing the room. “Gretchen, would you like to speak?”

I met Diana’s chilly gaze across the room where she stood leaning against Miles. “I need to speak with Alek alone. Would you all leave us for a few moments?” The calmness of my voice surprised even me. I was going to go along with her cruel rules. Fuck, I’d go along with just about anything to have Alek in my life. The question in my mind was whether or not Alek would want me in his.

Rose nodded, agreeing with my request, and quickly left the room along with Miles and Diana. I sank back down onto the window seat, and he turned to face me, his rugged face as handsome as the first day I saw him in the library years ago. Hard lines. Straight mouth. Brown eyes that hinted at the pain and suffering he’d witnessed through his long life. And then there was the kindness, the beautiful sincerity about the way he looked at me. My mother had been the only other person who’d ever looked at me that way.

She’d caught the same fever several years ago that had stolen eleven women and children from the House. That illness had crippled the magick of the House. It had hit so suddenly and with such fury not even pixie dust had been able to bring them back.

Since that incident, Harrison had increased his magickal health screen to include illnesses other than STDs on the men coming into Sanctuary. Several of the men who came for the joinings that weekend were among the deceased, and one of them had been the carrier.

No one else in the town had been affected.

We were the only humans.

“What are you thinking about?”

“When Mom died.”

“Why?”

I looked down at my clasped hands. “It was the first time I had the vision of us. Right after I lost her, you came to see me. You brought me hot chocolate every day while she was sick and then for nearly two weeks after she passed. You hugged me after her burial ceremony, and I saw…us. Just for a second that first time. The vision lengthened as the years passed.” My voice rose and fell as the memories replayed in my head. “But it was enough to know, even back then, that you were destined to be very special to me.”

“You were always that inquisitive little girl I met in the library one day who just couldn’t stop asking questions—until you weren’t. And then I didn’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have the answer. I still don’t.”

“I didn’t mean to bring you into this. If Astrid hadn’t seen the vision when she grabbed me, I would’ve kept it to myself for the rest of my life. I know you already made your choice.” My voice fell with each word was like a nail in the door on having a life with Alek, any kind of life. Tears burned on my cheeks again.

His hand cupped my face and lifted my tear-filled gaze to meet his. A current of magick flowed from his hand into my body. His eyes were bright and compassionate, yet glowed with the same hunger I’d seen just before I’d kissed him.

I wanted to kiss him again. Just to have one more memory to carry with me through the misery that would be my life without Alek.

“I want you, Gretchen. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life. My Gryphon wants you. He’s pissed at me for walking out of the library when I did.”

My heart expanded, and shivers flitted up and down my spine. He wants me. “But—” There was a “but” coming. I could feel it in the pit of my churning stomach.

“I don’t know if I can handle you being with another man. I would do anything for you, Gretchen, anything, but sharing is not in my wheelhouse.”

“We could be together.”

“Not for real. We’d only have stolen moments here and there after you got pregnant. What if pregnancy is hard on you? What if you’re nauseous most of the time?”

“What if I’m not? That’s nine months where we can spend every free moment together.”

“How long will it take you to get pregnant?”

My gaze fell to the floor again, hope for us shattering into a thousand pieces. My mother had only had one child, and my grandmother had only born my mother. Multiple children didn’t run strong in my line. I remembered my mother speaking about how difficult I’d been to carry. Damn it. What if he were right? What if this was a convoluted pipe dream, a manipulation of the circumstances to ensure that Rose got her way without really having to tell us no?

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