Page 53 of Fractured Frets

“No.” I just wanted her with me. “I’ve been to the hospital. I’ve totally re-injured the joint. I’ll have to have surgery after the tour.”

“Oh babe. That’s no good. Are you okay to still play?”

“Yeah.” Fuck, I hope so. “Lots of injections and meds and physical therapy should get me through.”

“Please take care of yourself. I wish I was there with you.”

“I wish that too.”

I talked to Maddy for the entire drive. She helped soothe my troubled mind. The drugs did the rest of the work.

Back at the hotel, Beckett and Jade helped me hobble to my room. After thanking them and saying good night, I crashed for a few solid hours.

By the time we got to Edinburgh just after noon on Monday, the swelling in my hip had gone down, but the severe pain had returned. Decent sleep eluded me. Filipe had strapped my hip with so much physical therapy tape, I could hardly move.

Fuck.

How was I going to perform?

How could I give the crowd a great show?

I couldn’t have another injection for a few days. I’d taken my oxycodone.

But pain stabbed my hip.

In the bathroom before we hit the stage, I stared at the mirror. Dark circles shadowed my eyes thanks to the lack of rest. I’d woken up tired, not being able to get comfortable and sleep on my side.

I swallowed a Drizodone I still had with a few mouthfuls of water and wiped my lips on the back of my hand. Shit. I hoped that would do.

It didn’t.

Agony had embedded itself into more than half my body.

At our second show in Edinburgh, after begging Jade for an injection which she refused to give me, I popped another Drizodone, but it still hurt.

I was on oxycodone twice a day. Drizodone in between. And my hip didn’t stop aching.

Fuck. I didn’t want to cancel any shows. I didn’t want to be dull on stage.

My breath snagged and shuddered through my lungs as I stared into my toiletry bag.

Blake’s key chain caught my eye.

I closed my eyes and gripped onto the edge of the counter. No. Don’t go there. I can get through this. I’ll be okay.

But my hands shook. My hip throbbed.

I just wanted the pain to stop.

Even if it was only for a couple of hours.

I glared at the key chain.

The devil on one shoulder tormented me . . .

“Just this once. You’ll be fine.

You can do anything with a little buzz.”

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