Page 16 of Fractured Frets

But weeks on, my hip still ached like a bitch. Nothing had eased the constant ache. I needed it to get better before our grueling promotional schedule kicked in.

I had to take it easy. Rest. I had to do anything and everything I could to avoid the temptation of pills and cocaine. I fought against it every day. I needed to keep my priorities straight. Keep my reasons to hold my shit together at the forefront of my mind. I lived for my band, my music, and, if this thing with Maddy turned into something more solid down the track, maybe for her too.

My phone pinged on the table. I glanced at the message.

Maddy: Happy birthday. Know this day is hard for you.

Sending hugs.

I’m in la next week.

Hope we can catchup ??? XOXO.

Just one message from her made the day better.

Lewis folded his arms and rested them on the table. “I’m ready for anything this opportunity to play with you throws my way. I’m honored to be a part of it.” A playful, drunken smile curled across his lips. “We’re fucking good. The songs we’ve recorded are amazing. This album will kick ass. Yes, we’re under pressure to do well, but I have no doubt we’ll survive. We’re gonna fucking shine, man.”

I chuckled and nodded. “I’ve had so much vodka—light a match and I’ll do more than shine. I’ll ignite like a fucking fireball.”

“You and me both.” Laughing, he leaned forward and slapped me on the arm. “But we better finish up. Big day in the studio tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

But as we downed our last shot, my head thudded. The unknown road ahead spun my mind. We were on the brink of finding out if we’d become one of the biggest rock bands in the world. It was thrilling and terrifying. We could fly or fall. But my heart was pulled in different directions...all because of a girl.

I wanted to see Maddy more often. After being burned in the past, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, especially not before the tour. But something about her kept me going back for more.

How the fuck could we have a relationship when she was based in Vancouver?

I shouldn’t waste my time. I should stop seeing her before we got emotionally involved . . . Problem was . . . I already was. Fuck.

That wasn’t good when too many people depended on this album’s success—Everhide, Ashlem ...and Lewis. He’d given up his life on the East Coast to join us.

I needed to stay focused. On my band. My music. On the months of promo and touring ahead.

Pressure mounted in my temples, twisting and tightening. No. Stop. It’s okay.

Everything would be alright.

I just hoped that when the rocket my band and I were on took off, it didn’t explode and wipe us out.

If the guys and I leaned on each other, we could handle anything.

If we didn’t, I prayed I wouldn’t succumb to pills and powder to survive.

Chapter 6

SLIP

THE PRESENT – MARCH

After checking into my room in Tokyo, I sank onto my bed, exhausted following the ten-hour flight from Vancouver. I texted the guys on our group chat.

Me: I’m here. I’ll see you at dinner. Lobby restaurant, right?

Flint: Yep. 8pm.

Lewis: Good to see you made it.

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