Page 135 of Fractured Frets

She spun to face me. “You. Us to work.”

My heart skipped a beat then thundered toward my throat. She wanted me. Why now? What has changed? Nothing. I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I’m not supposed to be with anyone. It’s part of the rehab process of getting back into the land of the living.”

“But I’m your wife.” Still talking through her tensed jaw, she clutched her crossed hands against her chest. “I want to be here for you. Support you. Love you. Help you. Every fucking day.”

I dug my nails into the counter. Where had she been two months ago? Four weeks ago? When I was falling apart? “That’s not a good idea right now.”

“Okay.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I’ll wait. Until you’re ready. I don’t want to lose you, Slip.”

My knees buckled. I’d wanted to hear those words months ago. I couldn’t bear the thought of falling for her all over again, only to have her leave when times get tough.

“What if I fuck up, Maddy?” Pain shuddered through my chest. “Are you gonna walk away again?” Anguish coiled through my veins. “I can’t guarantee anything. But I’m gonna do my fucking best to fight the burning urge inside of me and not reach for a bottle of vodka, or a pill, or coke, every motherfucking second of the day.”

“I want to help you do that.” She flicked a tear from her cheek. Concern flashed in her eyes, but she didn’t balk. “I want to give you a reason to go forward, not backward. I want to fix us, Slip.”

“Why?” Exasperation shot out with my breath.

“I love you.” She closed her eyes and swayed on her feet. “You’re my addiction.”

“You should get help for that.” I smirked as I puffed air through my nose. “I know a good place.”

A tiny smile played across her lips. “There’s no cure, so please be mine.”

I swiped and rubbed my hand over my mouth. Thoughts bombarded my mind. Could I do this? Be with her like I’d planned? Fuck. She was all I’d wanted for the past two years. I wasn’t sure there was much more crap life could throw at us. She was here. Still my wife. She wanted us to work. That meant something...or everything. Or was it just another disaster waiting to happen? “I come with a lot of issues.”

“So do I.” She lowered her chin. “I’ve drowned myself in work and kept everyone at a distance for so long to avoid getting hurt. But I fell for you, hard. And it scared me.” She walked over to the wall where I had several platinum plaques mounted. “I didn’t want to distract you from your music or be a reason that would stop you from reaching new heights.” She tilted her head back. “I had my mother in my ear and taking care of her took up more and more time. But that’s changed now.” She dragged her fingers along the glass frames of the plaques. “Funny thing...Bridget is going to take care of Mom full-time. She’s moving in...like in, in.” Her brow furrowed, but then she smiled. “They’ve developed a companionship and are going to see if it turns into something more.”

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. “You’re mom’s bi?”

Maddy giggled, but she kept her lips smacked together. As she glanced at the floor, her hair curtained her face. “Seems she’s open to exploring the idea.”

“Well, fuck me.”

“Totally right.”

Why wouldn’t she look at me? She did everything to avoid meeting my gaze. The niggle in the base of my neck twisted tighter. This wasn’t like her. It was doing my head and heart in. She’d said she loved me but couldn’t look me in the eye? What the actual fuck? “Mads, have you hurt your jaw or something? You’re talking all weird. What’s wrong? You can tell me anything.”

She stared at a plaque. The light caught the glassy sheen in her eyes. “Please, hear me out?”

How could I not? “Okay.” I nodded and leaned my butt against the counter.

She headed over to the window and stood with her back to me once again. I hated the distance between us, the impersonal barrier she’d created, but maybe she needed it to say what she had to say. “The biggest thing I have dealt with in therapy is us. I had this idea of marriage set in my head that we had to live every day together, and I couldn’t ever see that happening. I didn’t want you to move to Canada, leave your band, or change your life for me. But you were willing to do those things without question. It stressed me out because I didn’t feel worthy of such love. I was afraid you’d lose interest quickly and leave me like Noah did. That you’d run back to your ex or off with some other girl.”

My gaze stayed glued to her reflection in the window as she tugged on and played with a strand of her hair.

She softened her tone. “But you never changed course. You wanted to travel down this road and build a life with me. You were ready to do anything for me, whereas I never offered any solutions. I never compromised. That’s not how a life together works. I was selfish. And I don’t want to be like that anymore.”

“I honestly believed we’d work things out once I got home.”

“I know. But being apart and the gossip messed with us. We both got sick, but we’re getting better, right?”

“Yes.” I nodded, still confused. “But where are you going with this?”

“Slip, I’m still in this if you are.”

Fuck. Enough is enough. I took a small step toward her. “Maddy, I want to believe you, but it’s impossible to do that when you’re talking like this. You won’t even look at me. Why are you acting weird?”

“Slip? Please?” She clutched her hand against her chest and fidgeted with her diamond. “I want to stay married.”

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