Page 98 of Fractured Frets

“Slip?” We drew to a halt halfway along a trellis. “I know we need to talk about so many things, but can we wait until tomorrow? Harper’s upset me, and I don’t want to say something I might regret.”

“Mads, I don’t want her getting to you.” Slip stuffed the joint behind his ear and the lighter into his pocket. “She’s just playing games. Please ignore her.”

“I can’t.”

Under the full moon, he let go of my hand, clenched his jaw, and clutched at his hair. “Fuck, Maddy. How many times do I have to tell you she’s not a problem? Don’t make her one.”

“She is one.”

“I hear you. I’m doing everything I can to stay away from her. But you’re not hearing me. Why can’t you trust me?”

“I’m trying to.”

“Try harder.”

“I don’t know how to do that. I take one step forward and one back. Seeing her flash you along with all the I-wanna-fuck-you looks makes it really difficult to do that. I hate feeling like this.”

“Do you see me flirting with her? No.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and set determination in his gaze. “Tomorrow, we’ll sit down and talk to her. I won’t have her come between us. No fucking way. If you don’t like the outcome, I’ll get Cole to fire her. He won’t hesitate. Is that the solution you need? You want him to send Harper back to teaching in Nepal?”

Fuck...that idea had some merit. But Harper was family. I couldn’t ask him to do that. And what if the next nanny was worse? Ergh. It made me sick to the stomach just thinking about it. Was I digging my grave if I let this slide? Shit!

“No. I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight.”

“Neither do I. I’m sorry too.” He drew me into his embrace and held me against his chest. “I just can’t wait to be with you every day once the tour is over.”

My heart sank to the ground. “Not every day...not for at least the next two years.”

He took a step back and held me at arm’s length. As he closed his eyes, a muscle ticked in his jaw. “Why didn’t you tell me about your show being renewed?”

I lowered my chin and stared at the grass. “I only found out a couple days before I came here. I was waiting for the right time to tell you. I didn’t want you to talk me out of re-signing.”

“What?” The anguish in his voice punched me low in the guts. “I wouldn’t do that, but we could’ve at least talked about it first.”

“Why? What’s there to talk about?”

“It’s what married people do. That’s what we do. We’ve always talked about everything. I want to know what you’re doing so we can plan our lives together.”

“What lives?” Pain shot through my chest as I fought back the sting in my eyes. “I’m away. Mom’s getting worse and needs more care. After your tour finishes, we’ll spend some time together. But then it won’t be long until you’ll be locked away somewhere, working on the next album, then recording, then traveling across the globe doing promo and planning another tour.”

“Eventually.” Fatigue hovered low in his voice. “But I’m not in a rush to repeat those things.”

“But you will.”

“Yeah. One day...maybe. But I’d always discuss the band’s plans with you first, so we can align our schedules. So we can maximize our time together.” His shoulders slumped as hurt flooded his eyes. “But you didn’t even consider me in your re-signing.”

“You’re not part of it.”

“Fuck, Maddy. Yes, I am.” He stormed farther down the hill toward the creek.

“Shit. Slip. Wait.”

I didn’t want to argue. It was exhausting. But every time we were together, things often ended that way. We both had commitments. Both loved our careers. We hated being apart.

I grabbed his arm and spun him round. “Okay. Yes. I should’ve talked to you.”

“You don’t get it, Mads. I will work around your filming schedule and help you care for your mom. I will go to every appointment you take her to just to be with you. I will fly to and from Vancouver or wherever you are as often as I can. I will be with you at every chance. You come first now. Not the band.”

“What?” My heart jolted hard against my ribs. How could I be more important than them? “Don’t say that.”

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