Page 9 of Fractured Frets

God, I wanted to.

“Slip—” I pursed my lips and sniffled.

“You love me.” He narrowed his gaze, challenging me to disagree, but I couldn’t. “You can’t deny it. I’m sorry I’m about to go away for a few months. It’s not forever. But I’m not sorry I married you.” He grabbed my other hand, holding them both against his chest, and gave them a gentle shake. “It’s a huge ask...but please wait. Wait until I get home so we can have the chance to live together. Give me time to prove that this is right. Let’s see how we go over the next twelve months. Can you do that?” He pleaded as he fidgeted with my fingers. “If you still want out after that, we’ll file for an annulment. I won’t argue.”

“You make it sound so easy.” I’d never had anyone stand up for me, fight for me, fly across the country or want me this much. It did the craziest things to my shattered heart.

“It won’t be.” He wasn’t wrong about that. “But I will do everything I can to make this work. I don’t want to lose you without trying.” He swept my long hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. “We can do this.”

Can we?

We couldn’t take another step forward with blinders on. “Slip, we have so many odds against us. Marrying you has unleashed a swarm of old insecurities that sting. I’ve kept them from you because I’ve never wanted to face them or hurt you.”

“We all have issues, Mads. We’ll deal with them, one by one. I come with a fucked up band, injuries, and more stresses than I can count...but you knew that and still said yes.”

I wanted to be logical, sensible, and considerate, and set him free, but he made it impossible to do so. He always put his friends before himself. He pushed himself to go beyond everyone’s expectations. He hid too much pain behind his bright smile. We’d seen each other through some rough times. I’d fallen in love with him—that was no lie. But how could two messed up people be good for each other? Would we just fuck each other up even more?

I wanted to have as much faith in us as he did.

Did I want this? A life together? Could we ever be happy?

I guessed there was only one way to find out.

“I did say yes.” I closed my eyes, remembering the first time I saw him at Dalton’s Nightclub. His unruly, dirty blond hair that reached just past his shoulders gave him more of a sexy surfer vibe than that of a rockstar. Black jeans and a button-down had hinted at a tight, toned body. Oh yeah...I’d found out just how taut it was a couple of months later. But what did me in, what rendered me useless, what captivated me each and every time, was his smile. When it was genuine and it lit his face and touched his eyes, and he looked at me, his energy and warmth hit my soul. My heart doubled in size. His kindness, complexity, and compassion won me over. He’d cracked the titanium wall guarding my heart. Was I willing to let him in even more?... Maybe.

“Slip, this is crazy. But there is something about you I can’t say no to. You walk in the room, and I can’t stay away from you.”

“That’s a good thing.” He slid his hands up my arms and rested them on my shoulders. “I can’t stay away from you either.”

I scrunched my nose. “You should get help for that.”

He chuckled. “You too.”

Probably. But I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I tugged on the hemline of his T-shirt. “Do you really want to stay married?”

“More than anything. Ti amo. I love you, so fucking much.”

My heart thundered against my ribs, my stomach knotted, and my head ached. I did want this. I had to stop letting things mess with my mind. “I love you. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, but...okay. I want to give us a chance. No holding back. Let’s give this a shot for one year and then we’ll see where we’re at.” I prayed I didn’t regret this.

“Mads . . . I’m banking on forever.”

He pulled my lips to his and kissed me, stealing my breath. Guiding me backward, he crushed me against the wall near the fireplace. Fire filled the air as our lips molded together. Entering my mouth, his tongue taunted mine. Tasting. Licking. Savoring. Every touch sent jolts of electricity straight to my core. My heart raced in time with his. Our bodies aligned. Within a minute, he had my panties off and his jeans unzipped, and he fucked me senseless where we stood.

Yep. Rendered. Useless.

I’d never expected him to turn up on my doorstep, fight for me, or steal another piece of my fractured heart.

Luckily he was there, otherwise this weekend would’ve ended differently. I would’ve filed the annulment. No question. And I’d probably have regretted it every day that followed.

Were we crazy to stay married? Yep. Totally.

But that was Slip. He always wanted to jump, not worried if he flew or fell. That was why I loved him. He had a go at anything. Lived.

Now I was on this ride with him.

We led mad lives where our paths rarely crossed. Our work and responsibilities often got in the way of spending time together. I didn’t want to give up my career. I’d never let him give up his. Somehow we had to find a balance.

I wasn’t convinced everything in our past was buried, forgiven, or forgotten.

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