Page 26 of Fractured Frets

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have no stress? Be able to get away from everything?” Tears welled in her eyes again. Yeah. We get each other. “I just feel so helpless sometimes. I feel guilty for being in Vancouver a lot of the time.”

“Hey?” Enough ice cream. I placed the spoons and the tub on the nightstand. Turning, I waved my fingers at her. “Come here.”

We stretched out, shuffling down on the bed. Maddy curled into my side, resting her head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. After breathing her in, I kissed her head. Hmmm. I could get used to this. “What you do for your mom is amazing. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s scary when someone you love is sick, in denial, can’t admit they have a problem, and no doubt they’re terrified but keep spiraling and self-sabotaging.” I took a steadying breath to keep my own struggles subsided. “We lost Phil to addiction and had to scrape Flint out of depression. Their illnesses may be different to your mom’s, but I understand what you’re going through. You always wish they would just stop and get better. That you could do more for them, had acted sooner, and you’d do anything to take their pain away. But at the end of the day, they’re the ones who need to want to help themselves. You can intervene, but they need to find that thing that makes them want to get well. It sucks that that thing may not be you. We were too late to help Phil find his reason. We’re beyond grateful Flint found Sutton. Your mom needs to find hers. And I can help you do that. I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“Thank you, but she’s my problem, not yours.” She swirled and stroked her fingernails in tiny movements across the center of my chest. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“What drove you to change after losing Phil?”

Maddy wasn’t naïve. She was aware of my wild past. We’d texted and talked about everything. Past relationships, drugs, parties, work, family...us. We didn’t want our hookups to become serious. Or to get emotionally involved. Yet...there I was.

“My friends.” I said, combing my fingers through the long strands of her hair. “They’re my life—my family.”

She tilted her head back. “You really love them, don’t you?”

“Yes.” But as our gazes held, a wave of warmth settled over me. I ran one fingertip down her cheek and whispered, “Or maybe I’m still looking for my thing.” Or maybe I’ve found it ...

“Maybe.” She tensed for the span of a single heartbeat, then lowered her chin, cuddling into me closer. “We have more in common than you think. Mom’s had depression for years. She got sick when I was fourteen. Then two years later, she lost her modeling career, and Dad ran off with her best friend.”

“Wow. They are rough blows.”

“Yeah. Mom was the face for several cosmetic companies for years. But once the lupus rashes affected her skin, she lost her contracts. She used to be a runway model as well, but the meds made her put on a lot of weight. Having kids supposedly ruined her figure too.”

“Is her modeling background why she goes off about you eating?”

“I guess.” Maddy sighed, letting out a tired breath. “She’s adamant no one wants a fat actress.”

“Um . . . yeah.” I grimaced. “All shapes and sizes these days.”

“Oh, everyone else can be full-figured, but not me.”

Who talked to their kid like that? Oh . . . Valerie.

I kissed Maddy on the head and held her closer. “My mother would sit you down and feed you until you couldn’t walk. That’s the Italian way.”

“I wouldn’t know what that’s like.” Maddy’s body sunk deeper into the mattress. “I haven’t eaten pizza or pasta for more than five years.”

Shit. She’s serious. “Life is too short to miss out on good food. You’ll have to try mamma’s. It’s the best.” I toyed with her hair again, loving the silky strands sliding through my fingertips. But then I stilled. I rested my cheek against her head and held her tight. “Promise me you won’t listen to your mom. You’re so beautiful, Mads. Just the way you are. Mio bel girasole.”

“What’s that?” She draped her hand across my waist. “Beautiful what?”

“My beautiful sunflower.” Grinning, I nuzzled my nose into her hair. “The first night we met, you wore a short, sexy yellow dress with white outlines of sunflowers on it. Your smile was like sunshine. Your hair was down. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” I pressed my lips against her forehead. “Bel girasole.”

She jabbed her finger softly against my ribs. “You’re smooth, but that’s sweet.”

“It’s the truth.” I caught her hand and entwined our fingers.

Sighing, she slumped against my shoulder. “Thank you. But I’m just not feeling sunny tonight.”

“That’s okay. I got you.” I brushed my fingertip down the bridge of her nose. “Why don’t you have a shower and get ready for bed while I run this ice cream down to the freezer before it melts everywhere.”

She glanced up at me. “Then are you going to do wicked things to me to help me forget the day?”

Mmmm. That was a tempting option, but I didn’t want to be there just for sex. “Mads, I’m here for you. Whatever you need. But how about we just get under the covers and see what happens?”

“I’d like that.”

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