Page 22 of Fractured Frets

Every time I thought about Maddy, I couldn’t help but smile. Feel warm. I’d never loved anyone as much as I loved her. “Yeah. I do. More than anything.”

“So no last romp with me for old times’ sake?” A sexy dare flashed in the depths of Harper’s eyes as she flicked her tongue ring across her teeth. There was the old Harper.

But no. My dick didn’t even spring to life. “Definitely not. So don’t even try.” Chuckling, I shook my head, turning toward the fountain as two huge Koi fish glided across the pond. “I’m sorry if you were expecting a different outcome, but things have changed. There are plenty of other guys around to date or hook up with. You won’t have any issues finding someone.” As long as it wasn’t me, I didn’t care who she was with. “Didn’t you have a boyfriend or two in Kathmandu?”

“I had several.” She tugged the sleeves of her sweater over her hands, then tucked them under her armpits. “Most of them never stuck around long. They came for the summer season to hike the mountains or work in the tourist shops.”

“As long as you got some.”

“Enough.”

“That’s good.” I tracked one of the fish swimming toward the far end of the pond. But I could feel Harper’s eyes on me. An awkward silence hung in the air. She no doubt wanted things to be the same as before, but I’d changed a lot since Phil had died. I wasn’t a juvenile teenager looking for some quick thrills. I’d put my heart and soul into my band. I’d given my all to recording a new album and hitting our tour, and somehow made it through every day, coping with the aches and pains embedded in my body.

I’d had a rough couple of years.

Through it all, when I hadn’t been able to turn to the guys, Maddy had been there for me. And I’d done the same for her. Sometimes those closest to you, the people you loved and cared about the most, didn’t see the hell you were in as you pushed your own problems aside to help them. Maddy and I had been each other’s strength and had fallen in love during testing times. I was counting down the days until we could be together after the tour. I just prayed Harper stayed true to her word and didn’t cause any issues. But that’d be a first.

“Maddy’s one lucky girl.” Harper pressed her lips together, sucked in a deep breath, then play-punched me in the arm. “I hope she makes you happy.”

“She does.”

Harper nodded. “Cool. Um...I’m gonna go to bed. It’s late.” She took a small step toward me and held out her arms. “Can I give you a hug? A good-to-see-you-again-and-congratulations-on-getting-married hug.”

“Yeah.” I pulled my hands out from my pockets. “I’d like that.”

But as I wrapped my arms around her, she rested her chin on my shoulder, too close to the small of my neck. She breathed me in and squeezed me tight. Too tight. Held on for too long. Ergh! I didn’t need this shit. I pushed out of her hold. “Harps? Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Tears glistened in her eyes, but she blinked them away and flicked her hand through the air. “I’m good. Seriously. Don’t worry about me.”

I wouldn’t. “You’ll be fine. Just take care of Charlotte and Cole.”

“That’s why I’m here.” She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “Shit.” She pointed toward the elevator. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you ’round. Night.” She brushed past me and dashed toward the elevator. She may not have liked the outcome of our conversation, but at least she knew where I stood. There was no us. Never had been. She had to accept that there would be no more hookups. No more romps between the sheets.

But I still felt like shit for upsetting her.

Cole strolled toward me, carrying Charlotte. She was sound asleep with her cheek against his shoulder. “Hey? Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I stuffed my hands into my hoodie pockets. “Harper’s not happy I’m married.”

“Yeah. I gathered that.” Concern embedded in his low voice. “I would’ve never asked her to come home if I’d known she was still into you. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t want to cause you any problems.”

“You haven’t.” Hopefully. “Mads is all I care about. Harper has to accept that.”

“What can I say? You’re just a big heartbreaker.” Cole smirked as he flicked his hand against my shoulder, harder than necessary. “That’s why we have rules, man. You shouldn’t have fucked my cousin.”

“Trust me. I wish I hadn’t.”

“We’ve all made mistakes. But some of them turned out to be good ones.” He kissed the side of Charlotte’s head and rocked her slowly from side to side. She was out like a light.

Harper had been a mistake. One I’d repeated too often in my often drunk or drugged out state. Meeting Maddy had changed everything. But had marrying her been a mistake?

Hot anxiety crawled and itched beneath my skin.

I didn’t want it to be. Not ever.

We’d dealt with enough crap. Every day that passed was one day closer to us being together. The gossip would die down. Our families would come around. Work would ease up. Surely our relationship wouldn’t have any more major hurdles to face than it already had.

Oh wait . . . who was I fucking kidding?

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