Page 133 of Fractured Frets

If I was being honest with myself, I hadn’t felt this fucking great, this full of energy, this clear-minded, in years.

To focus on my recovery, I’d removed myself from all our band’s obligations for the up-and-coming awards season. I’d had to. Too many after-parties and functions would make it too tempting to slip back into old habits. The guys would attend without me. With no plans to record, write, or perform, it was scary as fuck, but exhilarating. If only Maddy was part of my unknown future.

But I’d deserved to lose her. I’d fucked up. I’d dealt with that mess in therapy.

I just wasn’t sure my heart would ever recover.

She was the reason I got clean. Even though she wasn’t around, I did this for her...and me. To prove I was strong. And ensure my problem wouldn’t ever become an issue ever again. I was a good person. I just got a bit screwed up. But I never lost sight of what I wanted. Maddy. She just couldn’t hold on. That hurt, but I understood where she came from. I would’ve walked away from me too.

“See ya, Jo.” I waved to the therapist typing madly behind her computer in the small office.

She looked up and waved. “Bye, Sebastian. It was an honor to help you. But I hope I never see you again.”

Smiling, I nodded. “Same. Thank you for everything. Ciao.”

I pulled the heavy glass door open and stepped out into the desert sunshine. A blast of fresh October air hit my face. I filled my lungs to capacity, then let my breath out slowly. Damn. It was good to be alive.

Lewis stood leaning against my Camaro. Fucker really needed to buy his own car. But it was good to see someone familiar.

I yanked my suitcase down the steps. The wheels clacked and clattered against the tiled steps.

“How you doing?” Lewis gave me a big hug. “Fuuuuck! You look good.”

“I’m feeling it too.”

He stepped back and clutched my arms. “How was it?”

I showed him my chip. “Thirty days. Clean and sober.”

“That’s so freaking cool. Congrats.” He jutted his chin toward the front door. “I hope I never have to visit one of these places.”

“I’m not gonna lie—it was hard. But worth it. If you kick the drugs and tone down the booze, I’m sure you won’t have to.” I wheeled my suitcase around to the back of the car and tossed it into the trunk.

“I’ve already done that.” Lewis slid into the driver’s seat as I took to the passenger side. “I want to be a dad, so it’s time I grow up.”

“No baby yet?” I asked, clipping in my seatbelt.

“Not yet. But having a lot of fun trying.” He threw me a mischievous grin as he started the car. She purred to life, ready to take off.

“Good to hear.” I lowered my sunglasses and wriggled them into place. “I’m dying for a burger and fries. Can we pick up something on the way home?”

“Absolutely.” He nodded. “Let’s go.”

It took just over two and a half hours to get back to LA thanks to the traffic. After swinging by In-N-Out, Lewis pulled into my driveway and stopped by the front door rather than pulling into the garage.

“What are you doing?” I asked, stuffing the last of my fries into my mouth and licking the salt from my fingertips.

“I’ve got to pick up Tia from Chloe’s. She spent the afternoon catching up with her and Duke. I won’t be long. You gonna be okay for an hour?”

Why was there no welcome party for me coming home from rehab? Okay. I was a grown man. I shouldn’t have expected my friends to be here with open arms, balloons, and streamers ...but it would’ve been nice. “Um. Yeah. Sure.”

Lewis draped his wrist over the top of the steering wheel and flicked a finger toward the front door. “We’ve cleared out all the alcohol and raided your room and the entire house for drugs. Hope that was okay. Tough shit if it wasn’t. We didn’t want you to be tempted by anything lying around.”

“No, man...that’s cool.” I bobbed my head and drew my eyebrows together. “Did you get the coke out of the tin behind the bar?”

“Yep.”

“The pills in my desk, bathroom and nightstand?”

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