Page 110 of Fractured Frets

“What?” My pulse hammered at top speed, but I played it cool and innocent.

“You’re high as a fucking kite. I’ve done more lines of coke in my life than I care to remember. I know what you’re doing. This stops now.” He jabbed a finger toward my face. “You hear me?”

Pain speared my chest. Shit. I hadn’t wanted the guys to know. “There’s nothing to worry about. I just need to get through this show.”

“Bull-fucking-shit.” His green eyes blazed with fire as his nostrils flared. “I’ve been watching you. Beckett and Ava are onto you too. But this has gone too far.” His tone plummeted like a boulder off a cliff. “Don’t do this, man. Don’t end up like Phil.”

“Fuck you,” I sneered, jutting my chin at him. “I’ve got this under control. I’m good.” No...I’m not. I fucking hurt. Everywhere. All the time.

“How often are you putting shit up your nose?” His voice cracked, as did my soul.

“Not often.” Shit. I winced and swayed on my feet. How often was too often? “Once, maybe twice a week, since London.” That was the truth. But coke wasn’t my problem.

“If Flint finds out it will destroy him.” Just like it had crushed Cole from the inside out. His eyes couldn’t hide anything. Fuuuuck! “Just stop,” he pleaded. “I don’t often ask for anything, but this—I’m begging you to not do this. Think of everyone who loves you. Especially Maddy. She won’t want you if you’re a fucked up mess.”

My shoulders sagged. “It’s debatable that she does anyway.”

“Well, you’ll sure as fuck lose her if you keep taking coke and God only knows what else you’re on.”

I slumped against the wall and closed my eyes. “I’m not on anything else.”

“Don’t lie to me, Slip.” He saw right through me. His hurt hung in every word. “You’re on meds for your hip. Sleeping pills. Tia said you took E the other night.”

“Fine. Meds not included.” I tilted my head back, thudding it against the wall. I needed grounding. Focus. “It’s been a rough week. Please, don’t worry about me.”

He took a small step toward me, getting right up in my face. “I am, and I will.”

I didn’t need this. Not now. Not before a show. “Thanks, man, but I’m good.” I slapped his arm and headed back into our dressing room.

But with each stride, my soul splintered. Tears prickled my eyes. Fuck. Pull yourself together, dick. No more. I loved these guys too much. I needed to be with Maddy. Ergh! This sucked. But I had to push through. Keep going.

“Everything okay?” Worry etched deep grooves into Flint’s brow as he clipped on his transmitter.

“Yep. Let’s get this party started.” I clapped my hands and avoided every concerned look on the faces of my band and entourage.

As I put on my ear monitors, the cocaine and pain-killers weaved and meandered, numbed, skipped, and fired through my system. Oh, fuck yeah. My pulse jumped ten notches as we headed to the stage. Flint gave everyone his usual pep talk and wished us a good show. Then the four of us guys huddled together.

I couldn’t stand fucking still.

I was already a ball of sweat. Strands of long hair clung to my neck. My vest stuck to my lower back. Droplets trickled down my spine. Fuck.

Flint lowered his head. We all followed suit. “This one is for Phil. He always wanted to play here. We’re here because we love music, love each other, and are family. We stand by each other. Whatever shit you’re going through, we’ll get through it together.”

I glanced up.

Flint glared straight at me. Shit. “And tonight, we’re gonna give this crowd one hell of a show. Let’s rock.”

We broke our group hug and clapped, and I hollered, “Fuck yeah.”

Showtime.

We moved into position on the darkened stage. The crowd chanted and screamed on the other side of the thick black curtain. The music from our video sequence leading into our show boomed through the speakers and into my ear monitors. The hair on my arms stood on end from the electric vibe buzzing in the air.

With my guitar on and fingers ready, I sucked air into the depths of my lungs and closed my eyes. I could feel Phil all around me, jumping and hyping me up, ready to perform.

I’m here with you, bro, Let’s play.

Our show was epic.