Page 108 of Fractured Frets

My hip burned with a new pain. Surgery had to fix my torn labrum.

But what if it didn’t?

Fuck . . . I had to keep my shit together.

Maddy and I would be okay. I had to hold on.

Stay strong.

Yep.

After this show.

My hand shook as I cut two fine lines of cocaine on the bathroom counter. I got this. I do. It’s just to help push through the pain and boost my energy levels. Two more months of touring, then I’d stop. Yes. I would.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I bent forward, snorted the coke and hit the stage.

We rocked up a storm. The crowd loved us. They fucking loved us.

At the after-party, the music was loud and thudded through my veins. Phil would’ve gone crazy in this place. The women were gorgeous. They smelled so good when they leaned in for a selfie. But none of them were Maddy.

Fuck this shit. I had to get out of there. I needed fresh air. I needed to be alone.

I stormed out of our gathering and headed back to my hotel, Beckett on my tail.

Standing in the doorway to my room, I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. I closed the door, fell onto my bed, and texted Maddy. It was mid-afternoon back home. I prayed she was free.

ME: Babe? You able to chat?

Maddy: Just about to take Mom home from the hospital. She’s doing well.

Me: Awesome.

Maddy: How was the show tonight?

Me: Wild. Missing you like crazy.

Maddy: Me too. Gotta go. Chat later.

Fuck. Now what? I loved talking to Maddy after the show. It helped me wind down. Calmed my mind. But after booze and cocaine, I was as wired and jittery as a jackrabbit.

I jumped up and grabbed my acoustic guitar. Walking around my room, I strummed at the strings. I sang some of our songs and poured my heart and soul into playing, singing every lyric for Maddy.

But then the low hit. Sweat broke out on my brow. My hands shook and shivered. Heaviness pressed against my chest and pummeled my racing heart.

I sank onto the edge of the bed and sang.

When did the road bend this way?

Was on the highway, coming your way.

Took a wrong turn, got lost in the dark,

Want to come home to you, leave this park.

Take my hand, show me the way, be my guiding light,

---