Page 21 of Tortured Tones

My heart thundered like a herd of elephants were charging across my ribs. My head throbbed and ached. I glanced toward the glass wall. Arilla, Hannah, Paul, and Ava stood in a line like they were the firing squad, waiting for me to make one false move.

Fuck. I swiped my hand down my clean-shaven face.

Movement behind the desk caught my attention.

From behind the chairs, out she crawled. She plonked onto her bottom and stared up at me.

I lost the ability to breathe.

Two big green eyes, identical to mine, locked onto me as if assessing if I were a friend or foe. The shape of her tiny pink lips and chin were the same as mine. But her flawless fair skin and blonde hair that fell in soft waves to her shoulders were just like her mom’s. I covered my mouth. Tears welled in my eyes. Oh my God...she was my daughter.

I blinked the tears from my eyes and took a slow step toward her. “Hi, Char-Charlotte.” My voice snagged in my throat. “I’m Cole.”

She grabbed her toy pink pony off the playmat beside her and combed its hair.

Shit! Now what? I had no idea how to talk to a kid.

I took another few steps toward her and squatted. “What’s your pony’s name? She’s very pretty.”

She didn’t look up. “His name is Sullivan.”

I pursed my lips, unable to contain my grin. Cool. We had a queer horse. I was down with that. “He’s got a very pretty mane. Do you mind if I sit and play with you for a while?”

She shrugged. I took that as not a no. I sat on the floor and crossed my legs. “I have a present for you. Do you like teddy bears?”

She nodded.

I held out the bear I’d bought. “This one is for you.”

She eyed the bear but didn’t take it. She was far from settled. Neither was I.

“Don’t you like him?” What was wrong with it? “I can get you a different one if you like.”

She resumed brushing her horse’s tail. “Are you looking after me now?”

The lump in my throat grew to the size of a football. I cuddled the bear against my gut. Maybe I was the one who needed the toy for comfort and security, not her. “Yeah, I am.”

“I want my daddy.” Her lower lip quivered. “But Mommy and Daddy are in Heaven.”

The sadness in her trembling voice tore my heart in two. “Yeah. I have some friends in Heaven too. I miss them every day. Do you miss your mom?”

She nodded. Tears pooled in her eyes.

“Your mom was very cool. She was so beautiful. And kind.” I couldn’t say a bad word about Shelby...except for the fact that she’d never told me I had a kid.

“Ma said you play moo-sic.”

I winced. “Is Ma Grandma Hannah?”

Her little head bobbed.

“Cool.” Now I knew who we were talking about. “Yes. I play drums. A big set. Maybe we could play sometime.”

“Ma doesn’t like loud noise.”

I chuckled softly. “Well, I do. Noise is my thing. We can play loud music. And sing. And dance. I could teach you to play the drums or the guitar or the piano. Would you like that?” I couldn’t play the piano or the guitar to save myself, but luckily my friends could.

Charlotte sucked on her bottom lip and glanced toward Hannah. Then she shook her head. “Ma won’t let me.”

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