Page 110 of Tortured Tones

“No.” He clutched my hand. “We’re in this together. All four of us.”

I fidgeted with the sheet draped over my waist. “I’m sorry. I thought I was okay.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Slip shook his head. “We’re always here for you. Health comes first.”

It had been a little more than five hours since I’d fainted in the gym, and I was already itching to get outside and do something. It was the day before Christmas. I wanted to check out the city, take Charlotte to see Santa and the lights, and go drinking with everyone. “I’d love to go to a bar and get shitfaced and have a good time. But I can’t. I have to rest and have this stupid thing in my arm.” I shook my wrist, hating the IV digging into and pulling at my skin.

“Fuck.” Slip slapped and rubbed his thigh. “We have a huge night planned on the town too.”

I pointed at him. “Do not feed my FOMO.” I could do with ten shots of vodka right then.

Lewis chuckled and scratched his stubble. “Damn, I had Jell-O shots lined up for you to do off girls’ bellies too.”

Fuck. I loved doing that. But then I smirked. “From their cleavage is better.” Nothing like a face full of tit while downing vodka shots.

“Are you sure you’re sick?” Flint laughed.

“I fainted. I’m not dying.”

Flint leaned back on his hands; worry clouded his ice-blue eyes. “Are you gonna be right by the next show?”

“Yes.” I set assurance in my tone. I would not miss playing. I’d find a way to drum even if I broke my fucking arms and legs. But my head spun and the reality of what happened kicked in again. I closed my eyes and lowered my tone. “It fucking kills me, but I have to ease up on the drinking and the partying to all hours. Jade’s putting me on some meds too...for anxiety and to help me sleep.”

“Anything to help you get better.” Sadness swallowed Flint’s eyes. “It sounds like a much more sensible solution than the self-medicating I did on vodka when Phil died.”

My heart sliced my ribs. I’m part of the reason he’s dead. The guilt still weighed heavily on my bones. “None of us want to go down that road again.” Maybe it was a good thing I’d fainted around Ava. I didn’t want the guys to give me an ultimatum to get my shit together like we’d had to do for Flint.

“No, we don’t.” Slip play-punched me in the arm. “At least, Ava will enjoy the break.”

“Um...she won’t be getting one. Ava’s covering you after Christmas, Slip. Beckett will be with me.”

“Why?” He raised a questioning eyebrow. “Did you fuck her again?”

My head fell back and hit the headboard. “Yeah.”

“Told you you’re into her.” Flint chuckled.

Damn, she did my head in. Thinking about her made the emptiness in my chest ache even more. “Why her? We can’t and don’t want to be together. How fucked up is that?”

We had other responsibilities. Other commitments and priorities.

Being sensible sucked.

“Sometimes what you don’t want turns out to be what you want.” Slip grinned as he leaned back on the chair.

“You talking about Maddy?” Lewis lay sideways on the bed, propping his head on his hand.

“Yeah.” Slip bobbed his head. “Thanks to you, Lewis, you fucker. I’m stoked. But I’m just not sure Mads is though.”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out.” Lewis threw him a sly smile, then turned to me. “Sometimes you just have to say fuck it, take the leap, and find out if you’re meant to be together.”

“I’m not leaping into anything.” Irritation twisted my veins. “Ava’s more like an itch that won’t go away. She’s always in my face. Ordering me around. This tension builds between us, then we snap, fuck, and now have to move on. That’s not healthy. That’s not normal.”

Flint jabbed his finger into my thigh. “I like her because she says no to you.”

“Maybe she’s exactly what you need.” Slip added.

“No. She’s not.” I shook my head, and my stomach sank. “Why get involved with someone who’s only going to leave?” Just like Priah did. “And I don’t want to jeopardize her custody case. I don’t need any more complications. We’re on tour. I want to have fun. Have a ton of sex with different women. Party hard. Live life to the fullest.”

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