Page 94 of Tortured Tones

“LA is a shit hole. Why should I come back?”

“You love kids and love to travel. No two days are the same. You live for those things. I have a huge house and hot showers that always work.” She’d vented on social media when the water heating had failed where she stayed.

“That’s a bonus.”

“You love us but you’re not into flashy parties, or the celebrity spotlight, or the music scene. I want someone who wants to help take care of my kid and doesn’t want anything else from me. I want someone who doesn’t want to fuck me or use me to climb some popularity list, or get into some swanky event.” I loved my job, women, and going out, but I didn’t need my nanny to want to be with me more than my daughter. “Charlotte needs stability. I need to protect her from some elements of my life.”

As I scanned Ava standing by the door, a dull tug tweaked deep inside my chest. She hadn’t wanted anything from me. She hadn’t been out to sleep with me. She loved her family and certainly wasn’t after celebrity status. Why did that drive me crazy? Why did I like those things about her? Ava was no nanny. She had her career, but something else kept playing on repeat in the back of my mind. Was I tired of casual hookups and did I want something more meaningful?...Nah...maybe...No. Just no!

“Why don’t you hire a male nanny?” Curiosity simmered though Harper’s tone.

I grunted. “I’m not sure that’d make any difference.” It wouldn’t. I liked my women. I hadn’t been with a man since Aidan in high school. But I didn’t want to rule anything out. I just wanted to avoid any temptation in my home.

“Cole, I have a great life here. I love teaching. I have incredible friends.”

Shit. I clenched my fist, distracting me from the disappointment mounting in my veins. Why was nothing easy? Who would I hire if Harper said no? What could I do to sway her toward coming home? Maybe nothing. “I’d never want you to give up something you loved.” Not ever. I was all for fun and following your dreams. That was my motto.

“It’s not that. . .”

“So what is it then?” What was stopping her from jumping on a plane?

“I don’t want to be on the same continent as my parents.”

The truth slammed into me like a torpedo hitting its target. She’d been cut off by her family, cast aside for following her career. That was when she’d come to stay with Tia and me during my senior year.

“Hey. I don’t blame you. But they’re in Delaware. There’s no chance of them popping in for a visit. I have security. No unwanted guests can get through my gates.” Hopefully. “Harps, you’ve been away a long time. I missed Tia when she was in Chicago filming her TV show. I miss you too.”

“I never took you for a family man.”

“Always have been.” Mine came in the form of my friends and my sister. “The band is family. So is Charlotte.” Fuck. I never thought I’d hear myself say that. But she was. So was Harper. She was one of us. “You belong with us too.”

“It’s such a big decision, Cole.”

She hadn’t said no, so she must be contemplating the idea. Numbers ticked through my head and the offer I’d sent her.

“Do you want more money?”

“Money doesn’t interest me.”

Then my stomach cinched. Crap. “You’re not still hung up on Slip, are you?” Their brief relationship had never been smooth.

“Oh, God no. Not at all.” The horror in her tone made me laugh. So that wasn’t it.

I glanced toward the guys sitting on the sofa, getting restless waiting for me.

Slip held up his hands and pointed to his watch. ‘Hurry up,’ he mouthed.

I held up one finger and nodded.

The dull ache in my head morphed into a throb. I’d kill for an Advil or two. “Harps, what can I offer you to come home? Name it.”

“You want me to leave Nepal, my job, and my friends, to be your nanny? Live with you? And pay me a shit load to do it?”

“Yes, but we’d have fun too. We’d hang out. Chill by the pool. Go to the beach.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done those things. Damn. Maybe the people around me were right—I needed to take some time out. The problem was that would have to wait until after the tour.

“There’s too much uncertainty about you keeping her.”

Nausea flooded the pit of my stomach, but my determination kicked in. “I’ll only lose her if I fuck up. I’m not going to do that. If you don’t come, I’ll have to go through the shitty process of finding someone to be her nanny. I just wanted you more than anyone else. You have the best heart and love kids. It won’t always be easy, this life isn’t for everyone, but I promise I’ll take care of you too.”

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