Page 6 of Tortured Tones

“I know what it’s like to be a young man who loves women and parties and having fun.” A small all-knowing smile curled the corner of Paul’s mouth, but it was quick to disappear. “But before you make a decision you may regret, we’d like you to meet Charlotte.”

Meet her? I already had enough regret and guilt eating me from the inside out. I wanted to forget the past, not live with a constant reminder of my mistake and the heartache I’d caused every day for the rest of my life. I didn’t want visions of my child stuck in my head. “You think that’s wise?”

“Maybe this will help your decision.” Usher pulled out an envelope from his folder and handed it to me. “Hannah found this letter in Shelby’s personal belongings along with her will.”

The last letter I’d read had shattered my life. This one couldn’t do any worse.

I opened and unfolded the page. Shit . . .

The page trembled in my hands. I sucked in a deep breath and read it:

Cole,

If you’re reading this, myself and my partner, Keith, are no longer able to take care of our gorgeous daughter. I’m so sorry I could never bring myself to tell you about her. You were on the rise with your music. I didn’t want to disrupt either of our lives. I didn’t want to risk losing her.

I had a good life in San Francisco. Keith and I were good friends and fell in love. We were happy. A family. Please don’t hate me. I did what I thought was best for us at the time.

That night you and I were together, you were the friend I needed. You mended my broken heart by giving me somethingmagical to live for...a baby. For that, I will be forever thankful. Keith loved and raised Charlotte as his own child. I could never ask for more than that.

Charlotte has always and will always be loved. But knowing my grandparents’ health is on the decline, I’d love that responsibility to come from you.

You’ve always had a good heart and soul. I know this news will come as a shock and be difficult to process, but please give our daughter all the love and care she needs.

It breaks my heart that I won’t be there to see her grow up. I pray you can do that for me. I miss you guys. But I was happy. Whatever circumstances have led to this, know that I found peace for my mistakes and surrounded myself with people who loved me and our daughter.

Forgive me for not having the courage to tell you. I love her so much.

With all my heart, I’m sorry.

Promise me you will give her a million kisses and hugs every day.

Love always,

From here or afar,

Shelby

Fuck.

I handed it to Flint to read. I wiped my hand down my face and swiped the sting from my eyes. This was so surreal. Still heartbreaking. But new guilt twisted my stomach. How could I deny a dead friend’s wishes? Thanks, Shelby...Not!

“Shit, Cole.” Flint rubbed his cheek. “This is her handwriting. No question.”

I’d had an agenda when I’d walked into this meeting to not tear Charlotte away from the family she knew and do everything I could to give her the life she needed, but that outcome had taken an unforeseen turn. Hannah’s and Paul’s health, and this letter, changed things. I didn’t want the courts to rule either of us unfit or for Charlotte to go into foster care...or be put up for adoption.

That left me with no option.

Fuck.

I was backed into a corner. Legally, I was screwed. Emotionally, I was torn between doing the right thing and wanting to be selfish. But how could I put myself first when a child’s future was at stake?

I rubbed the back of my neck, kneading the tension in my muscles. “Um...I’d like to avoid drawn-out legal nightmares, or Charlotte being put into the system, so if...and only if... I do this, what’s next?”

Usher nodded. “If you wish to take custody, there is a process, as I’m sure Patrick has discussed with you.” He had; I just hadn’t wanted to venture down that road. “You will need to respond to the Petition to Determine a Parental Relationship issued by the court with your paternity results and register your name on Charlotte’s birth certificate. We found that it had no father named on the document. Then, you’ll need to be assessed by Children’s Services to ensure you can provide financial support, and a safe, loving, and caring environment for your daughter. If all is in order, and with no contention of the will, this should be processed quickly. After that, we’ll come up with a plan with the Lanes to manage Charlotte’s transition into your care.”

A ringing erupted in my ears. My breath came in short, sharp shudders. The blood drained from my face. Shit. I’d have a kid. “But I’m going on tour for nine months. Can we do this when I get back?”

“This isn’t a do-it-when-it-suits-you situation, Mr. Tanner.” Usher looked down his nose at me like I was a piece of chewing gum stuck on the sole of his shoe. “We’re talking about your child. We need to ensure she suffers minimal distress and avoids ongoing disruption after the traumatizing events she’s been through. We need to get her settled into her new family as soon as possible.”

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