Page 139 of Tortured Tones

A playdate sounded perfect. Charlotte had been cooped up in too many hotel rooms and I needed cold air to sober up. I shot a text to my friends in New York and stole a quick snooze before we piled onto the buses bound for the Big Apple. I scored another two hours of sleep during the trip. The only thing that made me feel better was the fact that the guys were more hungover than me. Luckily we didn’t have a show tonight.

At two o’clock, rugged up in parkers, beanies, gloves, and scarves, I held Charlotte’s hand as we entered one of the kids ‘playgrounds in Central Park.

Since Ava had left us in Boston, Beckett hadn’t stopped glaring at me. He took a seat on a bench off to one side of the playground and sipped his steaming coffee. Each breath misted the air like he was a dragon ready to douse me in flames and burn me to a cinder. I'd have wished he would...if it wasn’t for Charlotte.

I swept and shook the snow off the toddler swing with my gloved hand, then lifted Charlotte into the seat. With a gentle push, I swung her back and forth. The squeaking chain was like a lumber saw slicing through my head, but the sun was shining, offering a tiny degree of warmth. It was good to be outdoors. The playground wasn’t busy, with only half a dozen moms chatting in pairs as their kids played on the climbing fort.

But as a tall man in a navy anorak ambled toward the playground entrance with a small girl shuffling beside him, and his bodyguard matching his loping pace, a huge grin spread across my face. That stride, that hair, that physique would be recognizable anywhere across the globe. Hunter. Fucking. Collins. Everhide rock god. One of the owners of my band’s record label. Phenomenal guitarist. Incredible vocalist. My friend.

He’d come. When I’d texted him this morning, he hadn’t hesitated in accepting my invite to catch up. He was one of the only guys I knew who had kids. Kyle and Gemma, and Hayden from Everhide did too, but they were traveling home today after a short vacation. They’d be at our dinner tonight and New York shows.

He opened the gate and his four-year-old daughter rushed toward me.

“Hi Ashleigh.” I ruffled her beanie-covered head. “Is it too cold to play today?”

“Never.” Ashleigh giggled; her azure eyes were identical to Hunter’s.

As Mick, his bodyguard, joined Beckett, Hunter held his arms wide. “Cole. Good to see you, bud.”

I gave him a warm hug, slapping him on the back. “Hunt. You’re looking good, as always.”

“I know. It’s a curse.” There was nothing wrong with his ego. Laughing, he shrugged then squatted beside the swing and wriggled Charlotte’s foot. “And you must be Charlotte. Nice to meet you. I’m Hunter.” He pointed toward his daughter. “And this is Ashleigh. She’d love someone to play with. Would you like to do that?”

Charlotte peered up at me with a can-I-please brightness in her eyes. “May I?”

“You sure can.” I lifted her out of the swing. Ashleigh took her hand, and they ran over to the climbing fort.

“She’s one cute kid.” Hunter rose, dusting snow off his gloves.

“Life-changing.” I kicked my boot against a clump of ice and stuffed my hands into my pockets.

“Oh yeah. They do that.” He chuckled, low and soft. “I never thought I’d have one, let alone three.”

“Where are the twins?” I tugged my beanie lower over my ears as we ambled over toward our kids. Damn, it’s chilly.

“Levi and Louis have colds. Kara’s at home with them.”

“I don’t know how you manage three. One has been daunting enough. I’m still adjusting.” So much had changed in the past few months. Taking on Charlotte, commencing tour, meeting Ava, and my health all pressed like heavy weights on my shoulders. “How do you do it, Hunt? How do you manage everything? Making music. Playing shows. Running a label. Touring. Having a family. Going to events. Overseeing your charities and businesses. Is there such a thing as balance?”

“Yeah. There is.” He scratched his stubble and nodded, but his eyes gave away that life hadn’t always been set to a chilled beat. This industry was ruthless, demanding, and every moment either gave you the strength to keep going or had the power to break you. I never wanted it to ruin me. I loved music too much. He tucked his hands into his anorak pockets. “It took me a long time to find it. I wouldn’t have done so without my wife, my friends, our team, and the people we trust. We’re not just a band searching for our next gig anymore. We’re a business, a bunch of friends who can always count on each other, and a family.”

“The guys and I are the same. But we’ve just gotten on this bigger, better ride than we’ve ever been on before. I don’t want it to stop. I love this life. I want to see where our music takes us.”

“And we’ll be here to help you.” His tone remained calm, confident, and reassuring. “If you want to ramp things up or slow things down, we’ll support you. But remember, you guys are in control. You set the pace. You’re not contracted to a big corporation or under pressure to churn out the next album. You record, promote and tour when you’re ready. We wanted to remove that stress off artists. This is your ride—we’re just the engine to make it run.”

“I like that. It’s made the whole process so much fun.” We had been in a pressured mindset to release a new album after Phil’s death. But losing our contract with WestTyme Records had been the best thing that had happened to us. Signing with Everhide’s EH4 Records had given us complete control over our career. We were in this for the long haul and wanted to enjoy every moment. Nothing happened without us all being onboard. So yeah, it’d be nice to have more time between album releases and space out touring even more. The guys would be down with that so they could spend more time with their partners...and me, time with Charlotte.

Ashleigh raced Charlotte up the chain ladder and helped her clamber onto the platform. A proud daddy smile curled across Hunter’s lips. “You’ve got to have a life outside of music. It took me a fucking long time to learn that. Music is still a priority, it’s just not the only one anymore.”

“Life changes.”

“Yeah. It certainly does.” He leaned against the fort pole and crossed his ankles. “The four of us still hang out nearly every day. We spend time with the kids. We’re writing some of the best music we ever have. We want to be in this business for the rest of our days, so we’re taking more time to produce an album and taking better care of ourselves than we used to. We learned we had to do that the hard way.” Dark clouds drifted across his eyes, shadowing them, like each haze contained more than a million memories. Staring at the ground, he swallowed hard. “After Kara and I lost Ryan, Gem had a crazy stalker after her, and I had my throat surgery, we re-evaluated what was important to us. At the end of the day, we could live without being Everhide but not each other. Family comes first.”

Shit! He was spot on. It’d kill me if I couldn’t play the drums, but I’d survive anything with Flint, Sutton, Slip, Tia, and Lewis by my side.

“Do you ever regret it?” I asked. Kids had changed his life. His initial path was similar to mine, but I’d never want to lose my child like he had. I stubbed my toe into the snow. “Do you ever wish you could go back and change that night with Kara? Do you wish you never slept with her?”

He smirked and puffed air through his nose. “We’ve all made mistakes. I’ve slept with more women than I care to think about. But Kara wasn’t one of them. I won’t deny there were moments during the rough times and turmoil when I wish I hadn’t, but now, looking back, no. She is who I’m meant to be with. She’s my end game.”

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